Friday, January 18, 2013

Something to think about

A friend linked me to this today and I really like what he has to say in it. It echoes a lot of things I feel and think (plus it's Penn Jilette!). A lot of disrespect of the truth and of emotions can happen when we want to believe and feel things that may not be real, or be glossed over or dressed up to be more than it is. This happens not just religion-wise, but in scientific research as well, and especially carries over into our lives in how we interact with others. I'm not dissing the power of belief and faith, but there is a logic and an honesty that should come with those things. If you are going to believe and think something, know it to be true. Not just in your heart, but your mind as well. You and those you care about deserve that sort of respect and honesty - lying to yourself is the worst kind of deception I think...

It's friday.
Thank frog.
This week has seemed very long and tiring. Not enough snuggles and naps. I will correct that this weekend. Friends are throwing a shindig, so I know I'll get out for a bit. I have much to do on paperish type stuff, but I feel ready to get things started finally, along with making some tasty healthy meals for the week to come. For some reason, I am finally feeling at peace with my needing to get work done. I am ready again to do some work (knock on wood). I actually have to have a talk with one of my supervisors -she had convinced me to let someone else write all my papers since the time and stress was getting to me and I'm not the best writer, but now? I wish to change that I think.
I can do most of them, while J is busy working on his new show this winter. the end they will be good. Not perfect...but the way I want them to be. Altho the thought of having a pro researcher write up things and have them optimal and publishable is tempting, it would mean letting her take primary authorship of things for all my work and redoing it. Admittedly, I truly don't care about the credit and authorship, but I do care about doing things right. This is the only research I've ever taken ownership of and I want to end this right. I feel a bit like I'm being bullied, and so altho I thought I was OK with it...and - well it turns out I'm not. I may let the other author do one of them, but not all of them. I've figured out where I stand, and I've put my stress down and looked at it and had a bit of time to think. She probably will not like me changing my mind, if only because it's more work for her and she is trying to do what's best in her mind for the research and in her mind it's not a bad thing for me. But, in the end, I think it's best to do things this way. Hopefully she's not too pissed...I will try my best, like I did before, and see what the world has for me. I need to grab onto my spine and hold on to it. And then I will be done and walk away...hopefully without pissing off too many people in the process. I need to figure out how I want to act and be in this big adulty sort of world. It's exciting and odd and scary.

But there should be waffles tomorrow.
Banana ones.
I got a new wafflemaker for christmas...I heart it.

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