Monday, April 30, 2012
one point twenty one gigawatts!!!
It was super crowded (they were at capacity both days) but we got to wander and see lots of great actors and get cool art and collectibles and be a goof for a few days. Tasty food in the evenings, dressing up all crazy, saw some favourite actors (the entire cast of STTNG were there)...AND I GOT TO SIT IN THE DELORIAN. There were a LOT of cool costumes. It was my friend's birthday too and I met up with other friends...and...and...Oh yes. :)
This morning I slept in a bit to relax and today it's back in to everything. I have a busy day ahead. I totally forgot that today is the last day to do you taxes...he heh. So that's tonight I guess, plus I have to rack my mead and add the clarifier. Jeez...busy night ahead. Thankfully our taxes aren't that big of a deal to do...just takes an hour or two I'd rather spend on something else. Usually J and I do them together but he has to work late tonight so it'll likely just be me and the numbers and the mead...I doubt I'll get any thesis in tonight!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Full frontal nerdery
Just one more night of damn thesis work before I can let my geek flag fly.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Absolutely no cold fusion after hours
An excerpt from my yet to be completed working alone policy:
"... tasks that should never be done alone or after hours in the laboratory include:
-The dispensing or handling of dangerous chemicals (unless previously authorized)
-Any activity involving heavy lifting or the use of ladders
-Ninja training *
-Cold fusion *"
up and down
It makes me grateful for what I have. Makes me feel guilty for complaining about a thesis.
Last night I got very angry with my thesis. See, I have about 20 pages of discussion, but I am finding it hard to put into an order that flows. I have 3 main hypotheses that overlap. It's hard to logically talk about them, because of the overlap...some of them are needed to explain others. It's so incredibly frustrating to try and put down logically. I think I've finally hammered out an order to start trying to plunk things into, but I feel like I wasted an evening. Like I can't finish.
I will work hard the next 3 days...and then go away and relax for a while...we'll see if that helps.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Seriously - what goes through people's heads?
Sunday, April 22, 2012
power of ideas
My brain is a bit overworked (ok rather fried) with all I'm asking it do lately, so I was a bit surprised to wake up from a dream with a whole bunch of great thesis discussion points. Before they floated away again I grabbed a notebook and wrote them down. Then I realised since I was awake I should go type them up. So now I have 3 solid pages of discussion points for my thesis - this calms me greatly.
There is something daunting about not just presenting what I did but discussing it critically and comparing it to what is currently out there. My project is on a new area of a test that isn't optimized yet and it's damn tricky talking and comparing things because there isn't a lot of things out there to compare it too. Thankfully in the last week I've found a few good scientific papers on different aspects of my project I can compare and contrast to and discuss. I am pushing down the "I just want to be done" voices and really trying to make this a quality thing. It's hard, because honestly there are days where I sit down and stare and end up wasting time looking up mead recipes and facebook things, but in the end, slowly but surely I am whittling down my data and project. As much as I would like to be able to definitively prove things, all I can do is talk about what I did and hope it is enough. There is SO MUCH more that needs to be done in this area - my work is just the tip of the iceberg and that is part of my discussion in my thesis. Future directions are key. And since this impacts people's lives and diagnoses I can't f*ck about. I'm not saying that the world will change because of what I've done, but there certainly will be changes. I get to be a part of them.
I have a real respect for researchers. I could seriously pour my life into this if I let myself...but I feel guilty that I do not want to. That I am willing to write up what i have and hand it off to someone else to work on isn't laziness, but honestly, I struggle with that. With great knowledge and power come responsibility. It is my duty to clearly delineate what I've learned so other people can apply it.
I got to thinking last night, that if an apocalypse came and the world ended we would pare down our priorities and really look at what was important. Cancer diagnosis is so tricky. We need to diagnose...but to do so we need better tests? But what to test for? What is clinically relevant? And where does all the $$ come from to develop these tests? People whine about the big pharma companies working for profit, but seriously - with the Harper government cutting research funding, health care is rather fubared in a lot of ways. You cannot develop new tech in a hospital-who has the $$ and time? It takes grad studies and people like me to do this stuff...and in the end $$ to fund it. I mean I essentially worked for free on this - someone just had to cover the cost of the actual testing...and still getting $$ to do that was a struggle. You can no longer learn for learning's sake. There has to be a defined end goal or a rich philanthropist in you pocket or you won't go anywhere on your own. It's too expensive and precise.
The bureaucrats in charge of the money are easily swayed by buzzwords and ideas and have no real knowledge of what needs to be done. Scientific panels and experts are ignored when profit and business are hindered...and in the end the the general public suffer. Case in point: Even here locally there is an awesome new research facility due to open this fall (which I work in SQUEEEEE!) and our provincial government just reneged on the operating funding they said they would give the university to run it. Yes we have the people and the places...just need money for little trifles like water and electricity. Never mind bringing in good researchers and grant funding. I could go on for hours.
Where am I going with this? I dunno...research excites and infuriates me at the same time. I am glad my future job will allow me to assist and train researchers here for the future. I will still get to carry my thesis work forward and be involved with it.
I just have to finish off this damn thesis first. I'm gonna go make some breakfast and get back to that then...
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Rain please kthxby
I hemmed between two, one of which was super cooler styled and had stretchier slightly more breatherable fabric (I really loved it), but it was thinner and didn't cover as much. I'm a whiner, so the one choose is a bit longer and has a nice hood and it's still quite nice (and it's yellow!). So finally it can rain on me all it want and I will just grin and not be wet. Hooray. We figured with a 5 day hike coming up in a few weeks where it could possibly rain the whole time, having a good raincoat I can wear all the time is a wise idea. It may not breath as well for hiking, but will rock for me for every day. I have to dust off the hikers and wear them around a bit so I don't get unusual blisters this next while...thankfully living in a lab I can do that. :)
Not much going on other than thesis. Raincoats are very thrilling these days...
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Geeks a poppin
One week until I can get away for the weekend to comicon and be a big nerd.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
My mind is starting to wander, but am forcing myself back on track repeatedly...nothing to be done but just write the damn thing. So bloody close I can almost taste it.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
A: Apples. Love them. I really do have one every day.
B: Bodyrock TV. Great online workout site with quick intense workouts I’ve been using a lot lately. I can see a difference in my fitness levels already after doing them a few times a week.
C: Coffee. Black nectar of the gods. A little cream and I am so very happy
D. Diet Coke. Yes I know it’s bad for me. No I don’t care.
E: Edemame. One of those great veggies I just never had up until a while ago.
F: friends. I don’t get out much at all with being so busy with school…I cherish the time I get to spend with my friends a great deal. They keep me from going nutso…
G. Game of Thrones – I love the Song of Ice and Fire series so far (although really books 4 and 5 could have been cut down and combined into 1 book…) The TV adaptation on HBO has been great.
H. Hamburgers…making homemade burgers is the finest easy meal. Taco burgers and curried pork burgers have topped the list lately.
I. Immunohistochemistry – my thesis topic…
J. my J. Luv him dearly.
K. Kraken Rum. It is the finest golden goodness. When the thesis becomes insurmountable, the Kraken comes to call…
L: Lemon Jelly. When the numbers get to be insurmountable, I put on their happy music and soon I am mellow and back at the thesis again
M: my mead. It’s clearing up nice and golden. Can’t wait to try it J
N: Naming things. Lately all my well used tools or items of clothing have developed names. This has expanded to include oddly shaped fruits and vegetables and chocolate Easter bunnies.
O: Ott. I have really enjoyed his new album and listen to it a lot.
P: Pineapple. Lately cottage cheese with pineapple in it is the breakfast of champions.
Q: Quirks and Quarks science podcast on CBC. I’ve been listening to it since high school
R: Rice cakes. Seriously. I LOVE them. I know it’s weird, but they are one of my favourite snacks. Crunchy and salty. Mmm…
S: Sleep. Precious sleep…
T: Tacos. Greek tacos. Regular tacos. Lately, I love me some tacos…
U is for my glowy Blade Runner umbrella J got me for my birthday. I love it.
V. the Vinyl Café podcast from CBC. It makes me smile and giggle about the little things
W: Wine. Need I say more? My dad has his winemaking up and running again. I'm hoping to make some more in the fall...currentl fave is Prickly Pear Gewurztraminer
X. Xercise (yes I cheated). Getting the endorphins pumping has kept me sane and gives me energy to start the day. I really don’t know how I used to get by without it…
Y. Yams. I am hooked on baked yam wedges with a bit of cinnamon, cumin and cayenne. MMM…
Z is for ZWOW. Zuzanna’s workout of the week. I usually do one Fridays. They rock!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Friday, April 06, 2012
short attention span
After sleeping in and a nice family dinner I am having trouble concentrating on thesis work. Think it's time for a nap...
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Lessons in not killing others...
Life is wierd ya know. It seems a lot of things have been hitting me hard lately. Been distant from people, including my partner who is dea...
May the blessing of light be on you— light without and light within. May the blessed sunlight shine on you and warm your heart till it glows...
Last night was nice. J was feeling a bit better and it was the final night of the Enchanted Forest light display at the forestry farm here ...