Friday, October 29, 2010

Thanks Mobely

Sometimes Moby can cheer me up when noone else can...thanks Mr. Mobely...from the bottom of my squidgy soul.

Can the 3rd thing please get it over with? I have stuff to do...

Last night I recieved an email reminder reminding me that it was almost time to order Mum flowers for her birthday in 2 weeks.

This morning my favourite old glasses fell to the floor and in a freak event, snapped right in half across the nose.

I am not enjoying this.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


Sometimes I'd like to quit

Sometimes I think that if it weren't that I'm nearly half done I'd love to throw this whole MSc thing out the window. I'm just tired of being tired and way too busy for my own good. When I realise I am planning my week and I am unsure of just how to make sure I don't have to do work on my birthday (saturday) I know it's gone too far. People aren't meant to do this for long periods of time. Well, not without medications anyways. Last night I came very close to throwing a wobbler...but in the end I finished and came home and I feel better today.
Truth is, I just have to keep going. Things will get done, bit by bit.

All I know is, when this is over I a throwing a very large party. You are all invited.
There will be cupcakes and beer.
And me with the biggest grin you've ever seen.

For's back to the data mines for me...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My first winter rant

It's snow people.
Go figure -in the end of october in Saskatchewan?
You knew this was coming...chill.
You've seen ice before. Grab a toque and mitts and suck it up.
Slow down when you drive and just take a deep breath.
After all, only 5 more months of this frozen crap...better get used to it.

I'm jsut concentrating on not falling on my butt when I walk on the skating rink sidewalks.


Monday, October 25, 2010

Arrr matey have you ever been to sea?

I had a great weekend. I couldn't rake because it rained, but I do not care. I got to relax and still get lots done...and I came out of it feeling really good about myself.
Wanna know why?
Well this weekend, not only did I find some nice fuzzy-lined warm winter boots that are actually adult looking and don't look like eskimo boots or hikers...I also found BOOTS! Swashbuckling worthy boots!
This is huge.
I kid you not when I say that I have the calves of a pirate. I wistfully look at boots and whenever I see ones I like and actually risk trying them on they will only zip up about 3/4 of the way. My calves are not dainty...they're strong and manly. Good for escaping zombies, but VERY annoying for buying boots. I've had $$ aside for years to find boots that fit. I've even bought an amazing pair of Fluevog Operetta boots that I'm saving up for to be altered by a shoeman because they were amazing enough that I was willing to save up to pay someone to fix them so they fit.

And this weekend whole questing for winter boots I found some incredible brown leather swashbuckling boots from Clark's and I figured I'd try them on, as they had a bit of a give in the back...and THEY FIT! They look AMAZING! I wanted to go out in the mall and yell "I'VE GOT BOOTS PEOPLE! F*CKING AYE!"

Yes...All girlish glee aside, I love them. They are really nice. I can wear boots now and not feel left out when I feel all Zoe Washburn and want to go space pirating...

And...after being home and feeling trim and slim from my few months of diet and exercise (I'm down 10lbs since the summer) I had a thought and tried on my Fluevogs, jut on a whim. And Operettas zip up now.
They are snug, but they do up. YEAH!

I guess there's something to this fitness and exercise thing after all...:)


Friday, October 22, 2010

Huh. Whaddaya know...

Since George our stove came to live with us his back left burner hasn't lit very well. Being gas and all after it didn't correct itself I finally broke down and called the warranty people to fix it...seemed the safe thing to do...sometimes it would take over 20 clicks to light...notentirely safe methinks. This morning they came and fixed it in 5 minutes. That's it! Make me wish I'd called them months ago!

Because I had to wait for the stove dude I got to sleep in this morning until 8. Heavenly. But now...back to work. A little gym workout and then a lot of labwork. It's my friday off so I can saunter in when I please and get done what I need to today for my MSc before I head home.

Have a great day:)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Relax don't do it...


It's a bit of a less crazy week this week. I spent a few hours each night of monday night and tuesday night with J. Wednesday at my brothers. Tonight I'm working late, but so is J and tomorrow? Well we might actually go out!
I *know*
Will wonders never cease.
It's good to take the pressure off your brain a bit.
I got a lot done for my meeting in Toronto and now know I have all November to put together my committee meeting report, data, do lab work, do homework and study in long days again. I feel positively peaceful having a few shorter days this week.
Ahhhhhh! :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I stumbled upon a great website...The "Retropolis" art collection is amazing. He does fantastic steampunk style art...real art deco-ey feel to it. And there are lots of mad scientists and robots involved. I like.
I do believe that for my birthday I will treat myself to this print to frame up for my mad scientist closet:

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

biting the hand that feeds

I was struck this weekend at just how under appreciated pathologists are. They’re the ones who look at peripheral blood smears. Biopsies. Removed organs and tumours. They try and find out after your death why you’re there on the autopsy table. Their work is the basis of what your doctor will use for treatment when you’re really sick. They have the nerve wracking role of being expert – the one who will declare the dreaded “C word”. The one who can tell you you have 6 months to live.

Sometimes the doctors I work with frustrate me. They are busy. They are over-intelligent and tend to order underlings around. They expect from us what they give to us and others and will not put up with bullshit and can be very curt. And yet, I must admit, I am in awe of the pathologists I work with. Yes, admittedly some of them are pathologists because their people skills are totally lacking and will freely admit it. They are suited to look at the specimen - to see only the disease and not have to deal with people - and I get why. Having to diagnose a fatal condition in a small child…a mother of 4…nailing the coffin closed on yet another regular life - that is hard enough day in and day out. To have to put faces to the cases and tell the patients and their families day after day? THAT takes a special kind of person.

And things are changing. Slowly they, even at their level of expertise, are just another cog in the wheel. They are pushed for x numbers of cases per month to prove their worth. I mean, I am a “lowly tech”…what I do could be done by others -I’m not vain enough to think otherwise. Sure I’m good, and my skills are great and I benefit the ones I work for, but in the end, while I can see some things now after 10 years in pathology- like whether someone has a ER, PR or HER2 positive breast tumour, or some common GI conditions or bloodwork results, I cannot know, simply at a glance in the microscope, what organ the tissue is from. I cannot give my expert opinion on whether a tumor is benign…determine stage 1 from stage 4. I cannot recommend therapy. They can. And they do - often 16 hours a day 6-7 days a week. These are doctors who often have no lives because they are the only ones who can do this and cannot bring themselves to leave a patient wating…often, unless they are married to other doctors, their families and spouses simply cannot understand why they do it - why they would work like this and neglect them. They don't get why after nearly no sleep they’d get up and do it all over again…and sometimes their family life is sacrificed for the care of others. Their work becomes their life.
In all this they are becoming under appreciated for the amazing work they do. And it is a true shame…

I did a lot of thinking this weekend, after seeing and working with pathologists in a huge health and research centre work and hear them complain and thrive like any other job. I repeatedly thought of the cardiologist who attended my mother. How he took the time to speak candidly and compassionately with my mum, my dad and with us. How he made sure my mum was well cared for, and how her last days were full of as much comfort and compassion as he and the girls on the ward could offer. How the people I work for gave him the information he had to tell us.

I simply do not know how exhausted, under appreciated doctors get out of bed and do it day after day…I don’t think I am enough of a person to do that. To me, no amount of money is worth the sacrifice they put in…I do not have their inner spark and drive that fuels them exhausting week after exhausting week. My home life is more important to me than what I do...but I do not do what they do...

But I do know this – I am glad that I can call some of them my friends.

It is good to be home

I had a great weekend in Toronto. I learned a lot and had a great visit with some old friends I haven't seen in a long time. I managed (barely) to not miss my flight home, and altho it was fun to be on my own in a big city, stay in a hotel room with a king sized bed all to myself (!!!), use a hotel gym while looking at the city night skyline and eat delicious sushi and sip elderflower pear cider (and find out just why Krispie Kreme donuts are such a big deal) I am so glad to be home.
I've been so busy lately that it was nice to just unwind and "be" for a bit after the long days of work at the meetings were over. And yes, sap that I am, I really missed J. I like going exploring in new places with J...and finally having some time for me made it painfully obvious that he wasn't there with me. It was good to see his smiling face when I got home.
I'm back home to regular life again, but I'm hoping things will let off a bit and life will be slightly more normal this week. From all of this I am encouraged in my life that I'm doing good...not just for me but for others. I'm healthy, and for the first time in ages I feel like all this hard work might be worth it. I've realised again what matters and that in the end knowledge, love and good friends are at the top of what I need to be happy. Whether or not someone slipped something in my coffee in Toronto, I'll take it. :)

Happy Tuesday everybody.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Reality is blurring

Yesterday was another 17.5 hour day. After my second class today I was walking back to the lab and saw a grey lump in the hallway by the door.

"How'd Zeke (the cat) get out there? He knows he's not allowed outside" I thought.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Thunderbolt and lightning very very frightening me

I love Roger's raspberry almond granola mixed with blueberry yogurt. I am eating it right now and it is everything I dreamed it could be.
Even better than a cupcake.
No. Be quiet. It really is.

I had a nice relaxing weekend at the lake and now am back in the thick of it. This weekend I have a meeting to go to where I will learn lots and present lots, and after my biostatistics midterm exam today (eep) it will be hard core data crunching outside regular work until it begins this weekend. I am hoping to not wig out and do well on my midterm and then after this weekend...I am hoping for a whole evening off after that.
Oh to dream :)

Anyone want to write my exam for me?
I'll pay you is delicious granola...

Thursday, October 07, 2010


"There is an area of the mind that could be called unsane, beyond sanity, and yet not insane. Think of a circle with a fine split in it. At one end there's insanity. You go around the circle to sanity, and on the other end of the circle, close to insanity, but not insanity, is unsanity."
~Sidney Cohen

Yesterday I was on campus for a total of 17.2 hours.
After going home at midnight and doing 2 and a half hours of homework, I am back here again at work after nearly 4 hours of wondrous sleep. One more hideously long day and tomorrow begins Thanksgiving weekend. Even though I will still have to study for a midterm and will have work to do there will be lots of sleep and turkey and being in the same room as my husband.

This is my carrot on a stick today my friends. To avoid insanity for another day...

Here's to keeping it together for 1 more day...

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

I have a cunning plan my lord...

I would totally hang that on the wall...only if the hole in it was available for my cat to poke his head thru occasionally

These are exciting and chatotic times - I may have to travel for a weekend for my MSc project in a few weeks (to learn new and exciting things) and, I must say, it is a pain in the butt to try and get everything together, find proper flights and try and book things and figure out who's paying for it (please not me please not me). I am not joking when I say that I really do not have time...and am amused that travelling grad students are lumped in with doctors who make a gajillion dollars...cuz we can totally afford the same accommodations...Man, how do people travel for a living? This is absurd.
I can book holidays no problem...that's *my* plans. Someone else's plans, while intellectually stimulating, are SO not the same thing...
Don't get me wrong - I'm quite excited to travel on my own for a weekend. I'm just having stupid details thrust upon me and I'm wigging out...I'm sure it will all turn out OK in the end...right?

Bwa ha. My sides.

How many senior researcher does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to change the light bulb, and four to argue about whether they’re taking the right approach to changing the bulb.

It's another 15 hour day here at Chez Laboratory. Gibbedy gibbedy gibbedy...

Here we go again...

Monday, October 04, 2010

An open letter to the director of Ninja's Creed

Dear sir,

I feel compelled to write to you about your latest film Ninja's Creed. Although the poster and the description alluded to an exciting B movie adventure involving ninjas, your movie did not have any credible ninjas in it. There was no skulking, sneaking, fighting or other ninja-like shenanigans.... even the rare and underwhelming assassinations by your so called "ninja" were alluded to off screen and done by a woman who was so obviously unmuscled I doubt she could have taken anyone unawares, let a lone assassinate them in a variety of splattery ways. Perhaps noone pointed it out to you at the time, but an Asian woman in tight pants with a knife does not make a ninja. Your film left us with poor dialog and mediocre acting...and no damn ninjas.

I am not a fussy a movie-goer. I am willing to sit through a perfectly average film (even a poor one) if there are well choreographed fighting scenes or cool effects - and *especially* if there are battling ninjas. Had there been even one reasonable ninja or good fight scene in your movie I would have sat through to the end of it, but I didn't make it past the half way mark. Even Mystery Science Theatre style mockery by myself and my husband wore thin by halfway through the film and we simply had to shut it off. It was terrible.

In the future, if you plan on making a movie entirely without ninjas please feel free to leave the term ninja from the title and description of the film so that suckers like myself will walk by it to find another one with ninjas: perhaps a label like "100% ninja free", or "Now with less ninjas" would suffice.

I wanted ninjas to fill my evening with relaxing entertainment. Please make an effort next time.


Friday, October 01, 2010

Dude where's my pants?

I have been in at work after a brilliant workout for a mere 20 minutes. Since arriving I have already spilled water all over the front of me and my new pants. Other than hiding until I dry out my only option is to change back into sweaty workout pants - not happening. When I workout I sweat. No one needs to be exposed to that.

Perhaps I should just wear a bib and no pants whenever I have morning drinks or coffee at my desk. My lab coat *is* long enough to cover me up...hmmmm

Cunning Plans

 Life is wierd ya know. It seems a lot of things have been hitting me hard lately. Been distant from people, including my partner who is dea...