Tuesday, May 31, 2011


I have all these numbers
Someone please tell me what the heck I have to do with them?
So many.
I must pull my stats class back out of my brain and get to it I suppose...

*wipes away tear*
I've got the laughing madness...
Seriously- I've been breaking into fits of giggles all day.
Oh dear.
I leave for Vancouver in 25 hours...so much to do before then.


Monday, May 30, 2011

The hell of a thousand numbers

Well, I did it.
It took me ALL weekend (literally) and I was up until 2 AM last night but I have successfully extracted, compiled and orderly combined all of my data (and believe you me - there's a LOT of it). Now tonight I can do some basic stats, have the bottle of Hobgoblin Ale I've been saving as a reward for this and try and figure out what I need to bring to the conference in Vancouver this weekend.

Whew. I'm grateful to J. He kept me from losing my mind over he weekend with the endless numbers...but I did it. He kept me supplied with Coke Zero and chinese takeaway and lots of hugs. Zeke napped in my lap sometimes too.
And so I rejoice - for It is done. (until the last batch of data comes in in the fall - heh).

So, I must be off. Coffee to drink. Labs to rule.

Later taters.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Do not let your tired eyes deceive you

Sorry about all the doom and gloom. Yesterday was very hooverish. I was very disappointed in it all, but it is what it is. Being over tired really made it a superb flusher of a day...but after I got home, sulked a bit, made supper and had a few good J hugs I came across this from my niece, who is sweet and much wiser than her 20 years - it gave my brain a shake...put things back into place for me:
Today will be better I think.
I will not stop.

I am tucking my nose down to the grindstone. Although I must work all weekend I am taking small fun breaks. One will be to get the ingredients to make lemoncello. I've been daydreaming about it and if I get my butt in gear and make some this weekend it will start being ready to sip around July long weekend. Mmmm...

Thursday, May 26, 2011

no words

Just got my slides back -My slides failed.
The cells fell off.

AND I just learned i have to manually export 340 slides of data instead of going to visit my Dad this weekend, because the software doesn't do what I was told it would.
And I have to order more cell culture materials.
And do the cell slides again...

I really really don't even know what to say.
I hate this.


I'm a little more zen now.
Not a lot, but it will do.

Seriously people? Come on.

After beign up until 1 AM working on data, I got up at 5 today. To come in to work today to process a sample by 6:15 to send over to the hospital in the first tote of the day so that it could be processed at another lab first thing. Apparently there were no totes to send today and four hours later it is still sitting there....and will finally go over in a tote soon. OVER FOUR HOURS it sat there. Nobody called about it. I hope to hell it gets there in time to be processed today or else it will likely fail. Again. This is the last thing in my cell line stuff and I can't have it screw up because I have no more materials to redo it because I'm ALREADY redoing it because it sat there like this LAST WEEK. It really can't screw up and it needs to get there as soon as possible.

I am sick and tired of having to depend on other people for my project because invariably they just screw me over. And I can't raise hell because these people are technically doing me favours.
Thanks a lot.

I'm so angry right now I could scream.

Later: I just drove it over myself.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Don't Panic. It's just Towel Day.

Please raise a glass (or carry a towel) to remember the fantastic Mr. Douglas Adams today...

It is Towel Day. A day set aside to remember him...Dirk Gently, Zaphod Beeblebrox and all the rest of the great things that came out of his head.

Cheers sir. You are sorely missed...

photo from ThinkGeek.com

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

So. Close.

I just checked my cancer cell lines for what may very well be the last time. Ever.
I may get to shut down that part of my MSc for good at the end of this week.

Please cross your fingers, toes and all available appendages on my behalf...


Sunday, May 22, 2011

scrunchy faces and strawberries

Having just consumed copius amounts of french toast, strawberries and french roast coffee I am now contentedly gazing at my handsome J as he scrunches up his face, deep in thought. He is voraciously attacking a new software light controlling program -all shiny and complicated...and he gets this cute look on his face when he concentrates.

Today, I myself have errands to run and hope to stop by a costume/burlesque clothing sale before cleaning off the deck today. Then it's a matter of having a BBQ out on the deck in the sunshine and later heading out for a pint, to listen to Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings...opened by Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears...funky. As far as days off go, it's sounding not too shabby.

I worked all day yeaterday and will likely work most of tomorrow, but today? Today is hopefully a bit of both.

Friday, May 20, 2011

note to self: robots like to "help"

I've output ALL my data to a main sheet...and I'm trying to make sense of some of it.
It took me 2 hours, but I finally figured out the output results of my algorithms...One of the columns is an addition of all the subgroups of my output grouped instead of separately...because...well...who knows? The software figured it was the way to do it?. That explains why some numbers are gone...and other's don't exist in the rough data. And why I still am missing some numbers.
Stupid helpful software...

Ah. Answers...just in time for bed.
At least I'm starting to get somewhere...

Thursday, May 19, 2011

stressed just a smidge

I just spent THREE HOURS scanning 12 slides to determine my next course of action in my cell culture.
3 bloody hours!

I have much to do this holiday weekend on my MSc to prep for my June 3 meeting in Vancouver. I don't have 3 bloody hours to spend staring at a sophisticated machine whilst eating taco salad, drinking Coke Zero and cursing under my breath.
I have data to crunch. New slides to scan and analyze.
The weather's been so gorgeous that all I want to do is hose down the deck and then sit on it and drink beer. We will prep the deck this weekend, no matter what, but as for the rest...well we'll see.
Currently, given the godawful amount of work to do yet before I sleep, I'm considering gouging my spleen out with a spoon so I can have a bit of time off...

Gibbedy gibbedy gibbedy...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

we fear change

It is odd. I've been aching for spring, but now that it's here I'm miffed like a 4 year old that I have to modify my life for it. it's all in good ways - I mean instead of being stuck with the bus, I can now (if I get off my arse today and prep it) ride my bike to work instead and be free to leave whenever I please.
Trouble is, I have a lot of junk. And I take it all with me to work everyday because it's my second home. Each morning I haul my gym junk and stuff to change into after gym junk...and food, some books... You get it-lots of stuff to take on a bike. It will be creative to say the least. I think I may have to look into a pannier pack, bike rack or a ridiculously huge basket for the front of it. I can just see me know, wheeling down by the river at all hours with all my junk bunjeed to the back of my bike...it makes me tired just thinking about it.

J and I went out last night as there was a Star Wars themed dance party at the local good dance club..the gay bar has the best music in town and I much prefer being hit on by women...we've got class. (Guys - you could learn a thing or 2 from them about social style...just saying) The music was good but it was ill attended and very few costumes were there, but it was fun. I admit I petered out at about 2, as we'd gone out to see Friday the 13th on friday night at midnight for the monthly horrorfest at the broadway. Both nights were fun, but man am I tired.

I have concluded that my inability to do much of anything useful today proves that I cannot have both a vigorous social life and actually work on my MSc, as much as I'd like to dilude myself into thinking so. I'm just tired. I did some cell work today and a bit of work in the lab but I wasn't half as productive or interested in my work as I'd have been if I'd slept a bit. I've got things to do, and I can't fall behind.

Altho being done my MSc scares me, it also is something I cannot wait for. Unless someone brings me a time machine I'm going to have to face facts - nerds need sleep to function properly. This nerd has taken note...and will start to act accordingly.

I'm off clean off my bike, pump up the tires and then have a nap.
I'm knackered.

Friday, May 13, 2011

i heart neil gaiman


My blog posts from yesterday keep disappearing and reappering.
How odd.
It's like I have gone back in time without my knowledge and done something silly that's making current timelines flicker a bit...
With any luck nothing else will dissappear today.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

playing the numbers game

I am currently exporting a gajillion data points from algorithm analysis of over 300 microarrays...and listening to my iPod...going thru old albums to pass the time as I occasionally click a mouse or tap a key and hit control c control v more times than I'd care to count. The D-sides album by Gorillaz is great...especially this song. It makes me happy and sad at the same time.

Soon, once I export all my gajillion data points, then...THEN I will crunch numbers...I am meeting all my supervisors and coconspirators in Vancouver at the start of June at a conference/training seminar on my thesis subject (I got a bursary to go! meep!) so I must get ALL my data collected, run and analyzed so I can impress their pants off. Well not actually their pants. They're old crudgenly scientists...some of them are women too. Erm. OK nix the pants thing.
Lets just say I want to impress...and it's exciting to finally have my first 1/2 of my data ready from my thesis. And It will be ready for my update meeting in June too...

Only 2 more thingys left to build, test, scan and analyze. Then...(gasp) perhaps I can get permission to write!

Back off, I'm doing SCIENCE!
He hee...

Vitamins darling...

Silly me. I haven't been taking my vitamins...

Monday, May 09, 2011

Mama you've been on my mind

Hope you all hugged your Mum yesterday if you could. I spent a lot of it thinking of mine.
Some days it's like she'll walk right in the door...

Sunday, May 08, 2011

The one about food

I used to think my recipe blog was a bit rubbish - I took photos but rarely posted them. It was just me blathering on about food really....trying to say more than "oh dear god this is good" and offer recipes if people wanted to make it themselves. I started it at a time in my life when I needed a distraction and wanted something to pour myself into...and now I'm finding I just might absorb it back into this blog again...ish. I'll leave it there for now. There's some good stuff there, but I don't see why I have to separate it out anymore...

I was making squash ginger soup today and some oat mango muffins and was going to take some photos, but then I decided not to. Food lately is a process for me. It's like getting lost in trying to photograph life...I'm just not very good at it and I waste time I could enjoying it all in trying to capture how I FEEL instead of an image or a thing if I'm totally honest with myself. And I can't possibly capture how much I enjoy the process of cooking. I cook to unwind and find that there is nothing better on the earth than popping on music (today was Paul's Boutique) and making whatever pops into my head and then nibbling at it contentedly.

I now have delicious soup for the week and muffins for snarfing and I feel like there should be some sort of scratch and sniff option for food blogs. I was disappointed in my photos compared to other food blogs I love like Oh She Glows but I realised that there's reasons why they are so good - these people do them for a living. They have lights and proper cameras...not a little point and click and a dimply lit blue lit kitchen :)

And so I will eat my muffins and soup and have a beer and celebrate sunday and the reabsorption of food into this blog again.

Ginger Squash Soup (from my head as I went along)

1 quart chicken stock
5 c diced butternut squash
2 t grated ginger
4 cloves garlic crushed
2 c diced onion
splash olive oil
Few glugs of cooking sherry
1T brown sugar
cinnamon and pepper to taste (~1/2 t each)

Saute onions and spices with oil until onions are clear. Toss in the sherry and stir a bit, then add the rest and bring to a simmer and cook until squash is cooked (~2o min). Puree up and enjoy. I'm thinking a bay leaf would've been good or maybe some smoked paprika...next time.
Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go eat some soup and have a muffin :)
Cheers. :)

Saturday, May 07, 2011

The original cougar

Am I the only one who finds this song creepy and not sultry?
I do love this remix tho... makes me want to cha cha cha...

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Han was WAY cooler than Luke

In my home town, in the schoolyard there is an old rocket monkey bar set. It was a spaceship with a fireman's pole down the centre...we spent every recess and so many evening hours playing there. Sometimes Indiana Jones...sometimes the Dark Crystal... but mostly Star wars.
It was the Mellinium Falcon.
It was the Death Star.
We saved the galaxy over and over again...
We would play until sunset - home time. As the tomboy and only girl tough enough to do my own stunts I was always quite frustrated on the days when I had to be the Princess Leia. On a good day I could be Vader. On a REALLY really good day I was Han Solo. :)

When my brother and I went home a few years ago we wandered about to see old haunts and I crawled up to the gun turret of the Falcon for one last look. I could see the tie fighters at a distance...and I was totally not princess Leia...

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

the downside of disease research

Sometimes I hate being in research.
Where I work we only do ethical animal research where significant, useful results can be found to help treat disease that cannot be done in any other possible way. I'm involved as little as I possibly can in anything like this because I get very attached to the animals and I have a great difficulty working with them. I know we might help someone with this, but it still doesn't make me feel any better about having to help anaesthetise 5 rats today.
I thanked each one for the gift their lives to help us. I held them gently and talked to them calmly as they went to sleep and petted them to calm them. I hope it was peaceful.

I still feel awful...

Monday, May 02, 2011

I choo choo choose this life

I had a wonderful trip.
It is good to be home, but what a nice time. There was a flash blizzard (WTF?) in Winnipeg the day I was to leave to come back so roads were HORRID and closed, delaying my leaving until 8 PM...and so I got in this AM ~6. I had a nap and shower and came in to work for the afternoon...not quite the best way to end my trip, but my poor friend Grapecat was stuck all night in Toronto after beginning her trip home, so in comparison, it really wasn't so bad. I got to spend a few more hours there with her and her family and see her off on the plane before my bus actually left for real...not a terrible thing.

This weekend was wonderful. The train ride was GLORIOUS, with a glass domed viewing car the whole way...complete with full dining car (salmon!) for meals and the ability to sip a beer while hearing an old man play the mandolin and watch the countryside go by, reading a book for fun and feeling then tension sink out my toes the whole trip. I'm definitely taking the train again somewhere with J. I bet a trip thru the mountains would be beautiful...

I had a great visit. I was able to help them put on a birthday party for her Dad and catch up with her and her mom...and then head out just the 2 of us for an evening to unwind, eat thai food and sit at a martini bar drinking ridiculous martinis and laughing. It was nice to see her and just be around at a time like this - we both needed to destress for vastly different reasons. I'm not always the best talker, but the company was impeccable :)

It was good to relax and share in another family's time together. My food and alcohol intake were absolutely atrocious (restraint? I know not this word...) but it was what it was - delicious! Maple martinis...and all manner of delicious wine. Life is good...this weekend I have had reaffirmed to me that it is indeed this life thing that we're all muddling through that is the process to be enjoyed in all the bits and snippits we are granted. You never know how much of it you have left, and it's the people you share it with that make it so much better. :)

And now I am home to my love and my cats AND my Dad...ready to jump back in with both feet for another week of my crazy life...what photos I remembered to take are to come.

Cheers! :)


He heh...my friend Cindi is on the Ellen show today...thanks to her ridiculous high school hair. It's a show about ridiculous paid for photos. She has some stiff competition for hers...yes I used to eat with her in the cafeteria with that hair.
Ah. Memories. :)

he he heee. I love it.

Cunning Plans

 Life is wierd ya know. It seems a lot of things have been hitting me hard lately. Been distant from people, including my partner who is dea...