Tonight was rehearsal practice...a long one. It went well except for the part when the guest critique coach asked me to do my solo.
Yeah...that part wasn't so good.
I essentially haven't practised my solo for a while. At least a week...and before that my instructor and I went through my routine and added a bunch of hand movements and movements around the stage to enhance it....so essentially it's all mud in my mind. I have gone over it in my head since then but haven't really practiced with intention. And so when I did it for her...I sucked. I'm not just being self deprecating...it was probably the worst I've ever done it. I was very embarrassed. I finished it, but I wasn't proud...I just wanted to leave.
Yeah...nothing like bombing in front of the whole class. She was kind and said she'd work with me next week and drill me, and had a lot of useful suggestions, but I was so bad...I could see in her eyes that she was a bit at a loss for words. Add to that the fact that I haven't felt that well all day (something I ate), and it's been a sucktastic evening overall...
I wanted to tell her I'm usually better than that, but I would have just come off as a gibbering person trying to make excuses.
Good times.
I finally made it home on the bus, moping my heart out. I am now drowning my sorrows in a beer and some food. When J is done work we are going out dancing. On my terms. A little funk is what I need right now...to shake this.
So...a weeks worth of a lot of practicing I think, so I can show her what I can actually do next week. Now that I'm not fighting technology or burning my own weight in DVDs apparently I have some work to do...
4 comments:
Everyone slips up sometimes. There's no point beating yourself up over it, because it's just part of being human...
And because everyone here can tell that you're a kickass dancer at heart.
I hate it when that happens!
When I first started doing theatre, I had the part of Yente, the matchmaker, in "Fiddler on the Roof". When I went to audition, I thought I would get a part in the chorus, so was quite shocked to be handed a supporting role. I had a terrible time with the accent. I was wooden on stage, couldn't get "into" the role. The director, the producer and the assistant producer ALL sat me down at separate times and tried to coach me on the accent. I'm sure they were terribly worried about their production.
Dress rehearsal - as soon as I put on the costume, it was almost as though I channeled Bea Arthur!! No-one was more relieved than I!
You'll be fine - a little coaching to firm up the order of the new moves and you will be a kick-ass belly dancer.
(Sorry for the novel-length comment)
Thanks for the encouragement guys...I appreciate it.
Sometimes you need a kick in the ass to make you try harder. Now that I've had a bit of time to think about it I'm glad it happened then when I have time to practice and work hard as opposed to the actual event :)
We fall so we can pick ourselves back up.
So here we go...
At least you didn't pee yourself in front of everyone.. I'm not saying I ever did that, but it can happen. Now that would really suck. SO in contrast you couldn't suck that bad.
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