The Soundtrack to My Movie

This was on Betty’s weblog. I think it’s a great idea:
Open up your music player and set it to shuffle. For each line/question hit the next/forward button. Say what song is playing for each line. Don't cheat either, just put the song that comes up. Seeing as I took my iPod with me today, here goes...

Opening Credits: "Sidewalk Surfer Girl" – Super Furry Animals

So far so good. I'd see a movie that started with this.

Waking Up: "The Golden Age (Live)" – The Flaming Lips

Hmmm…a Beck remix by the Lips…a good way to wake up I think.

Falling in Love: "Mother Africa Feeding Sista In" – Fun-Da-Mental/Thievery Corporation

Perhaps my kind of love is a reggae/funky danceable kind of love…?

Fight scene: "Shuffle Your Feet" - The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Damn…I was hoping for some Prodigy. Guess it’s more of a casual friendly having a beer and a game of pool sort of fight…

Breaking up: "One Time Too Many" – PJ Harvey

Yeah OK. Apparently I’ll whine a lot to the music when I break up with someone.

Looking Back On Your Life: "Block Rockin Beats" – Chemical Brothers

Woot. Apparently I have a very rocking life…I see a montage with quick fades and action shots….maybe some explosions…yeah. That’s it.

Getting back together: "Skym" - Underworld
Getting back together in veeeeery slow and mellow kinda way. Slow mo I suspect.

Secret Love: "The Turning Tide" – Super Furry Animals
“Things aren’t as they seem – it’s conspiracy”…cool.

Life's okay: "The Crow" – DJ Food

Ah -a nice mellow life. It’s a song I like to stroll to.

Mental breakdown: "Crooked Teeth" – Death Cab For Cutie
“I built you a hole in my heart, with rotting wood that decayed from the start. You can’t find nothing at all if there was nothing there all along...you’re so cute when you’re slurring your speech- they’re closing the bar and they want us to leave…” Yeah OK. I’ll go with that.

Partying: "Keep the Living Bodies Warm” - Tangiers
Totally. This is dancing like an idiot music.

Long night alone: "Deeper" – Econoline Crush
Yeah…a moody night alone. Kinda dark…maybe gothy or deeply depressed in an artsy kinda way - no ALL the above

Final Battle: "Blackhole" – Beck
Um…well, perhaps a very disjointed mumbly battle.

Death Scene: "Juice (Know the Ledge) – Main Mix" – Eric B. & Rakim
I guess I have a very funky death.

Ending Credits: "Love Angel" – The Gift (Tiesto-Nyana)
Woot – a psytrance credit roll. I like it.

Cool...it's strange to think of how much I have on the machine and this is what came up.
Now I just have to sell J on the idea and we can start filming...

waskesiu

Soo...anyone interested ina few photos of our weekend at Waskesiu??
We spent a lazy weekend there with Jay's family: his parents his brother and wife and munchkin and sister and husband. The Lost Creek Cabins where we stayed were a few minutes out of town so it was more private and we could walk into town to the beach and relax. There was even a jacuzzi outside and a barbecure pit - other than melting the bushpie maker it was all good! J and I and his sister and husband spent Saturday doing a nice 9.5 K hike...a very mellow afternoon.
On the hike there was an observation tower on top of the hil. It was great - you could see for miles.






And lots of pretty things.


Hee hee - you can see the caterpillar feet!
And the views at night?
Spectacular...

Yup. We had a nice weekend...

The secret life of my pet (Sunday Scribbles)

Dear Diary,

My master says that I am improving.
Throughout my childhood and training as a paduan I have been learning how to become less clumsy and refine my abilities. I have mastered the art of running and leaping from balconies onto people's heads and jumping out to surprise my opponants with my mighty roar and dazzling footwork. I can retract my claws and meditate upon the cloud chair of air and I am beginning to move the training ball with the power of my mind. I can fit through impossibly small spaces and leap unthinkable heights. I am hopeful that I will be able to pull all my feet up under me and hover above the ground by the end of the week. Soon I will embark on my testing journey into the ductworks of the wilderness where I will face my greatest fear and defeat it. I have heard the creatures in the walls at night and been mocked for my diligence but the time will come. Oh great invisible monsters beware-I am coming for you.
I was chosen for my balance and agility. Some, like my jaded furry companion, have learned to dance and do tricks in the hopes of attention. Fah - that is not for me. I am a trained fighter. I have seen the enemies approach from the hedges and grassy knolls and know I am needed to protect my home. It is through perseverence I will complete my training. I will become more than just a cat - I will be one with all things.
We and my fellow trainees meet at night insecret. All the work we do to keep our masters safe is unknown. We are the unthanked keepers of freedom and justice -the guardians in this dangerous world. Oh the others *think* it is the dogs who protect them and watch over them. They are blind to the truth - it is the feline forces that keep them safe. Our canine brothers merely watch for us and allow us to do our work unhindered. The elders tell us that as we develop our skills we will one day pass on what we have learned to the young ones who come after us. In time they will give up the bitts of fluff and fuzzy mice and begin to hunt the mighty mice and giant insects that threaten to take over our masters homes. We are the last line of defence in keeping our world safe.
I am Ezekiel.
My master tells me I will soon be a jedi.

Shambhala de da de da

I'm back from Waskesiu and I finally have a few minutes to myself...
And so, I just have to post a few photos from Shambhala. Of course I didn't take very many, but hopefully they'll hint at the goodness. The festival was really unlike anything I've ever been to before...like a mini world I went to for 5 days. 10000 people all very happy, united in the hopes of having a fantastic time. People from all over, all shapes and sizes and everyone just being themselves, camping out in the mountains.
Like a pimped up Motion Notion with the added fresh scent of lemon.
6 stages - so no matter what, if there wasn't what you wanted at one stage there was always somewhere else to go...and stages each had their own vibe - the beach stage which was by a mountain creek, was mostly reggae and funk, great for swimming and dancing, and at night a bit of house. People of the likes of Spongle and Cilla played there.


The Fractal Forest stage was a in a grove of trees, with lazers and the DJ stage was in a giant stump of an old tree - lots of breaks and funk to be had - DJ XS nd Michelle Bass were there (XS is a buddy of the Thievery Corporation and records with Thunderball and Chris Joss - I talked to him for a while, cool guy. I told him to tell them all to keep making fantastic music).

The Portal was nestled in the woods and was home to a lot of world beats and psy trance/techno goodness - DJ Hallucinogen played there.

The main stage was a rave out center with lights and sounds and lots of blinky lights- I got to see the Freestylers there (a favorite of mine from the UK). The Village (an EWOK VILLAGE! Mee hee!) had walkways in the trees where much goodness was played and some people were fishing for hippies and ravers with glowsticks from the upper walkways. The Rock Pit was a good old fashioned pit stage. All through the trees paths wandered from stage to stage to beach to foods to tents, lit up with strange lights with things always in the trees wherever you looked. At night it was like a whole other world. I've really not experienced anything else even close to it...everyone was so free and unique...I've seen a large buffed black man wearing nothing but chaps and a feather boa. I've seen Chewbacca and Princess Leia, Mario, knights, maidens, vampires, X Men, monsters on stilts, men with mirrorball heads, twisted pixies, a man with a giant happy hammer, aliens, warriors, soldiers form the future, smurfs, full out amazon warriors, a naked chick selling watermelon, acrobats, a guy who sold me a martini wearing a pink frilly crab costume, and a leprechaun...just to name a few.
There were lots of crazy other outfits with no particular theme and fantastic music of all sorts 24 hours a day. Needless to say I felt right at home in my Tank costume, which came out on a few nights. When I left for Shambhala I set out to find myself and rediscover what I needed. I do believe I found the beginning to a great many wonderful things that are becoming who I am...it's a process. A process I am looking forward to.

We camped with our friend Ken and his group of friends...they were all amazing friendly people. Two of them had just gotten married a few days before in a full midieval wedding...they had a Just Married sign over their tent...and the thing is, everyone we met was like that: interesting, unique and full of life. Maybe we just got lucky but there was an overabundance of happy people there enjoying the music and the time to play in the woods.
A good time...

I had a fantastic time...on my anniversary I got to give Jay something that is a slight bit close to just how much I feel for him and give back what he brings to my life...a girl I met raises butterflies as a hobby and was releasing them to people just to make them happy. So I got to find Jay and give him a tiny box with a poem on it about the legend of whispering a wish to a butterfly and setting it free to take it to be heard and answered...and then when he opened it there was a live monarch butterfly inside, just out of hibernation! He was stunned as it walked out, flapped its wings and flew to his shoulder a minute, then onto my shoulder and then off into the sky to take his wish away. It was something I'll remember forever.

Ah all joy and all for my love...

So many memories. All good ones.
And with that on my mind...goodnight.

All we are saying...

...is give peas a chance.

Yup.

I'm back....got back late LATE last night and I'm back at work this morning.
When I get a few minutes I'll post.
I just wanted to takke a sec to say I'm here, happy and glad to be back and I feel refreshed and alive. So much to say and so much to do before I head off for a family weekend tomorrow but I will try to get in a post or two before I'm off again to tell you all about it.
Later...


PS. Happy Birthday Trent. Sorry I missed it.

Here we go again...

Well, it's the wee hours.
All is packed and baked and all that jazz and tomorrow we are off to Shambhala (I'd link to it but no linky on my mac-ey). I'm feeling a bit better. More level. I've found bits of myself, and that is a start...enough to be on the road to something or someone. And J is right here with me, so that is all I could hope for.
I finished my mirror helmet and I must say-it is way cooler than even I had imagined. There will definitely be pics when I return. I even got a 40 Watt Club shirt printed up for the occasion.
And, AND, I found a bright yellow rain jacket with bright yellow rain boots.
Oh yeah.

It's been days off relaxing and Fringing and visiting old sick grandmas and making obsene amounts of food, and I should say more but honestly, I am WAY too tired to think. I figured I'd better type this before I forgot and took off tomorrow. Just wanted to say call off the search. I'm out here somewhere.

At least one of the parts of me I found was the part that likes to dance...
See you all in a week...

Who else might I have been?

That’s a tough question. This prompt from Sunday Scribbles sparked a lot of thought, as I’m currently in a personal lurch, thinking about just who I am, where I’ve been, where I belong and where I’m going. I’m not a fatalist, but I like to think that people meet for a reason and that the people I’ve come into contact with are with me to teach me something. So many important people in my life were not ones I sought out. I’m shy by nature, sometimes quite frustratingly so. Working alone only compounds that.
The movie Run Lola Run really reflects what I feel about the casual contacts of life - the main character lives through the same situation 3 times and each time, you see how her interaction with certain characters changes their lives, sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better, with tiny moments changing everything for her. It really formed an opinion for me about how we influence the lives of others, even total strangers. I guess it’s why I am so adamant about being nice to people and trying to make the world a better place. For example, I often wonder just where I’d be if I hadn’t met my husband. I met my husband by chance when he was videotaping my friend’s wedding. I knew who he was as we’d gone to the same college, but I’d never gotten around to talking to him much. After the wedding was over a mutual friend was hitting on me and asking me out for coffee and I basically commandeered him to come along with us. We were fast friends and fell in love soon after. And I still love him…and most days I like him too.
But I digress.
I believe if I had never met my husband I would still be a scientist. I might be off gathering samples in rainforests or hunting cures in Level 4 facilities, but I’d still have a deep thirst for knowing how and why things work. Perhaps I would have a different perspective on things. Maybe I’d be a archeologist or an aid nurse. Who knows? When you have a partner, often your ideas merge together or you do what you need to do make life work. I’d love to do grad studies, but we can’t afford it. Often times I feel that people merge too much and you have to take a step back and make the chalk outlines around yourself to redefine your boundaries…that’s where I feel like I’m at right now – blurry and abstract-like a camera out of focus. Your past is very clear but your future…well there’s no telling where it could go. Maybe it’s why I’m being introspective and not writing a story about my future self. I wonder about how much of my life has shaped who I am. And how I’ll shape that future self.
I wonder often, what if I’d come from a broken home? My parents aren’t perfect, but they love each other. I’ve never worried that they wouldn’t be together. Maybe I’d have a different attitude towards love and relationships if they had not been happy. Maybe I’d be more honest with myself. Maybe I’d trust less. I’m not sure which would be better…or worse.
The thing is, in a different life, I’d likely be more independent than I am now. Without a social partner to make banter and small talk I would be challenged to be more outgoing and discover what I like, as I remember being many years ago. Then again, I’m just as likely to have met someone else who would have fit the same role. I like to think I’d be a social butterfly, but the truth is that is not likely. I’m more of a lady bug or dragonfly I guess – labrats don’t get a lot of socializing! I seem to be destined to be the helper who is there when you need her, supportive and smiling and as a result I envy those with social graces and the ability to enter a room confidently and chat up whomever they please. Part of this level of thinking prompted me to conclude in the midst of writing this that I need to live my life as though I were single for a while– not to be alone or because I was unhappy as a couple, but because I felt that I was getting lost in the daily muddle of life. That I had to rediscover what and who I am and be “me”…to not be caught up in the day to day things and pay attention to what I need. To just live life and do the things I enjoy and put up with the rest of the crap that comes along, not looking for worries when there are none. I tend to worry about my self and what I need after putting everyone else first, and need to stop just being someone who gets things done and always has a smile on your face. When you put others first you start to fade away. When people ask you for opinions you don’t have them. That’s sad. That’s why I’m sad today as I write this. Sad for the me that seems to have wandered off and I can't find her.
Honestly I’m terrified of ending up like the couple in the song Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab for Cutie:

“You may tire of me as our December sun is setting
'Cause I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes
These wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below
who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for
Both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed
We couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside
And I have learned
That even landlocked lovers yearn
For the sea like navy men
'Cause now we say goodnight
From our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed

You may tire of me as our december sun is setting
'Cause I'm not who I used to be”

It is my solemn prayer and vow to not end up like this.
It is also my solemn vow to go get a cup of coffee.
Cya.

Missing person

I got no sleep...3 hours at best. I'm having a bit of a rough patch of it really.
I feel out of touch with everything and everyone in cluding J.
And I don't like it.
Ever tried to fix something you just realised was broken and you don't know how?
Well I a holiday off to try and figure it out, but I feel like I'll ruin our time at the festival and a whole lot more if I don't figure things out. I just hope I don't ruin a lot more.

Meh...I'm just miserable.

Life is too tricky for me to figure out. Maybe I'll take a break from it tonight. If I get lucky J will come with me. I don't want feel alone beside him and I need "me" back. I haven't been myself the past few days. I feel like a missing person in my own skin. A stranger in my own house and someone whom J doesn't really know. I don't even know why I'm posting this - Ijust feel like I have to tell somebody...in case they know where I went.
Have any of you seen me? I'm lost.

Shhhh...do not wake them - they are like 2 little boobalicious things...

Sigh. After a few days of it I have to ask:
Is there ever going to be a time when drawing boobs or a penis on a wall is finally considered to be absolutely stupid and crass by all? I'm not talking your nudes, or nudity per se (I like those actually), my problem is just the whole stick drawing of a penis and round w with nipples on it.
Because seriously, it is tacky and degrading. We are more than our dangly bits.
There is a sudden surge of tatas and johnsons being scribbled on walls and lockers around campus and the alleys of downtown and I would just like to ask the people drawing them:
-How old are you?
-Do you think this is amusing and if so, how?
-You know this definitely is NOT a way to impress the ladies right?
-Is the cost of a magazine too much for you?
-Would you like to take an art class? Seriously, they have actual nudes there to draw - you could draw the bits to your hearts content.
-Could you pick one wall and leave the rest of us in peace?
-Does your mother know you're out?

Because, seriously - I know 13 year old boys who could be doing this occasionally, but could they get all over town? It has to be some older people too...which is a bit disturbing really. The attitude of someone towards others, sex and sexuality in general would have to be somewhat curdled to do this kind of stuff. Now, don't get me wrong - I actually like graffiti. I notice it and will often photograph it- some of it can be quite beautiful or have something to say, even just someone's name written wierd or even "wooo" written really big. I'd settle for wooo instead of this. It leaves me with a strange taste in my mouth...

The Winter of the Dance

This is a short film done by keri smith


It's inspiring. The spirit behind it is something I really identify with.
We need to be more alive and in touch with what makes us happy.
I love it.

Water IS Power

Well, I'm off on a crazy kick again. As it turns out, comstumes are encouraged at Shambhala and I wasn't going to bother, but then I got the "bug". You know, when an idea pops into your head and you have to try and do something. It happened with the Oola costume and now I have a new focus. I've always loved Tank Girl (comic AND movie) and although I'm more like Jet than Tank, I'm trying to make a costume that reflects the whole thing that is Tank Girl. I have dog tags and a strange shiny rain coat I found at Value Village. I may make a Tshirt that says 55 or 40 Watt Club" but I likely won't do much else, as I have a grand idea. In the film, during the musical number at the Liquid Silver whorehouse, Jet is wearing an army helmet that is covered up with little mirrored panels and looks like a mirror ball (she's also wearing see through plastic pants but there's no WAY I'm going there...). THAT is what I am going to try and do over the next week. If it doesn't work, oh well, but I'm heading to army surplus after work and I have the glass tools. All I need is patience and some super sticky adhesive...I'd love to make the whole missile bra thing as a Tank option, but that's WAY beyond me (and honestly a bit too attention grabbing for me) - there isn't enough time to even try, so I'll try and see what I can do over the next few days about a mirror helmet. The thing is, half the fun of this stuff is the making it. It's a bonus if it actually turns out well!!! If it doesn't work, there are times when Tank wears an aviator hat (got it...don't ask) or a helmet covered in fun fur, so that may be my alternative with the helmet if I can't get it to work....but I think I will. I also have a waterbottle I can put the water and power logo on it, just cuz I can. I think I'll just be Jet and be very happy to be her. I can't find a decent photo of the helmet, so you'll just have to go and watch the movie.
Go on. Watch it. You'll like it!

(...and yes, this just reaffirms my geekiness to the world!)

And if I can't make that work, I could always make a Happy Fingers hat in a pinch...after all I did get told to "Try applying your creativity to more artistic arenas, and letting your imagination take less practical forms." Yup, that'd be this alright.