How did I get to have this life? :)

My husband and furfriends missed me I think. :)
I got home quite late last night to a smiling J and 2 very affectionate cats. I had a nice weekend in Vancouver. I learned a lot, had incredible research learning opportunities and then spent the weekend relaxing with J's family. The *cool* auntie :) Added bonus was that both her daughters were there too, which was nice. I get along really well with older daughter, who's had a lot of health stuff to deal with in the last year - like being diagnosed with IBS AND freaking cervical cancer. After a year of surgeries and treatments I am happy to say she is cancer free now. She and I shared a room together and talked until the wee hours and caught up on so much...

I am also convinced J's aunt is a saint - she has taken her younger daughter and her young grandson back into her home after retiring and she and her new husband are trying to look after them both as her daughter goes back to school to try and make a life for herself and her son while the other daughter deals with incredible life sh*t and her husband recovers from a heart attack. I hugged her and her husband a lot because they are fantastic. She's J's second mum really and he misses her and loves her to pieces. I do too. I was sad at times watching mother and daughters together, seeing what I can't have anymore...but then they would take me along, and let me know I *was* family...and for that I am eternally grateful. I missed my mum a lot this weekend, but it was OK. It was all very satisfying. I wish J could have been there.
In Vancouver I was in a hotel near the ocean and managed to go for a sunrise run along the ocean the first morning there. I can now inform you that running along the ocean harbour listening to Burst Generator by the Chemical Brothers while the sun peeks up over the mountains and glistens all over the water is one of THE best ways to start the day. It's official. It increases internal glowiness by 2000% :)

Add to that multiple sushi excursions, a trip to the amazing toy store, the best Dimsum in the 'verse and a trip to the giant chinese $2 store where I loaded up on sushi and bento gear that I've always wanted but could never find? It made the long extended flight home worth it :)
It's good to be home tho. It's been a busy few weeks.

There are exciting prospects with me and work and my MSc project which is turning into an incredible working relationship with a national program for quality control...where (GEEEP!) it is starting to look like my project will be adapted into their national testing program! I get to be involved on all levels. They want me to succeed so they can succeed. It blows my mind. Little ol' me is working to make this kind of testing better nation wide.
Holy guacamole batman!

Yes.
Life is exciting my friends.
Gobble it up before it gets away from you :)

Home safe

Well I'm back.
Thank frog.
This weekend was strange. I enjoyed it but it was harder than I thought.
Dad and I worked our asses off...all friday night packing and sorting and 14 hours saturday packing and sorting. Sunday...3 more hours before I finally headed home with a purple van FULL of stuff. But we got the majority of the whole house packed and sorted. Dad just has a few remainders left that he can definitely do on his own.
I am so very glad I went. I walked into the house to see my Dad surrounded by *stuff* and he looked up at me, his lip quivering...he simply said "I'm so glad you're here" and hugged me, bursting into tears. And then and there I was glad I was there. For him and for me. I knew it was the place I should be.

Together we packed up 30 odd years of their life...sorting. I think that was the weirdest part for Dad. The sheer amount of things to sort through. How does one decide what to keep? It was so hard to not feel guilty when we put something in the box for Sally Ann with a memory attached...or threw it out. In the end there is a lot to give away, some to keep. I have 3 or 4 boxes of things that matter to me and I brought back a box or so for all us kids to go thru sometime, and a few things for my brother. The reader's digest condensed version of our lives sorted into a few small boxes.

The local school that was closed has been turned into a community centre. There's a little cafe now. We ate there while we worked to save time(nothing says grease like 3 diner meals in one day...blech!). I saw a few people I haven't seen in a long time...

The weather this weekend was evil. Icy cold with wind and snowing the whole time. The roads down going home were not too bad, but coming home they were not good...quite icy in patches. In the city the roads were skating rinks. I was so relieved to be back in the city, safe with my purple boat full of heavy things...and then a block from my brothers I attempted to turn a corner and the van and ice decided I should keep right on going into a snowbank. Very disconcerting...but no one else was around thankfully. Not a huge thing... I was not going very fast and I was not hurt although at the end of an emotional weekend and a 3 hour icy highway drive it was not the way I wanted to end things. Unfortunately the front corner of the bumper is crunchied from hitting the icy drift so that is $$ I'd rather not spend, but I'm grateful to have made it home on those roads. I managed to unload my brother's gear (after he and a few other kind souls helped get me out of the snowbank near his house). I then went home to sob with J for a bit over all I'd been through and let the adrenaline filter out of my toes...and finally felt home. Where I belong. Where I feel safe. A few hugs, some coffee and chinese takeaway and I was myself again. Finally.

I am grateful about this weekend though. I got to say goodbye to my old home. I got to see a lot of things from my childhood I thought were gone. There were a few things that Mum kept from long before my time that both I and Dad have never seen. And most of all - to be there for Dad. I am so lucky to have a wonderful Dad and to know I can help him. To know that he needs me...I could not have refused. I think I'll always remember the look on his face when I drove away. He watched me all the way down the block, waving as I turned onto the highway...smiling sadly. He and I knowing it was the last time...after so many times...that he and I would do this ritual at that spot.
So very strange.
And I'm glad to be home. My home. Full of all my memories and hopes and dreams and that guy I can share them with.
Hopefully the in-laws won't be too annoyed I crunchied up their van fender. I have to call and tell them today. Ah well...I'll get it fixed as soon as I can. I agree with J...it's just money. We'll figure it out. I'm fine and that's what matters.

Hug the ones you love today. It's a good feeling.

Once 'round the lake Jeeves and then home for tea

I'm back!
Didja miss me?
(humour me...say you did! ;) )

I just spent 9 glorious days off. I was up at the lake with my whole family. All of them. That hasn't happened for many many years. We fished and hiked and walked and quadded and laughed and baked and BBQed and drank wine and remembered and cried together.

All of us.

Wonderful.

We celebrated Mum's life with family and friends. What was to have been their 50th wedding party was still held as a celebaration ofnearly 50 years of love and family. Then we tucked away her ashes and said goodbye together and then remembered and laughed and found we are a family again. We toasted her memory on the lake with pink champagne and watched the sunset over a beautiful lake and I admit that I have not felt so complete for a long long time.

You do not know how much it warms my heart to know that there is joy and love and happiness, and even tho Mum wasn't there in body, she was there in spirit.

Up at the lake I saw 2 bears (one only 12 feet away from me!), an eagle, a moose, zillions of bunnies and squirrels...I ate more food and drank more apple cider than one person should imbibe, but in the end, I am home, sun burnt and happy as a clam.
AND in the midst of all this my sweet man flew out and drove back our moon buggy. He and it arrived late last night and we zipped around by the river in it on a quick little tour. Oh I cannot tell you how incredibly cool it is. Honestly...cooler than I thought it would be...and I thought it was pretty damn cool already!
Pictures of all to come once I recharge the batteries on the camera.
Oh yes.

We now have some of J's family staying with us for a few weeks...Jazz festing and relaxing. It's so good to see them. I have been away from work and school for a glorious 10 days and now I must dive back in head on and try and swim upstream again...eep.

Waterwings anyone? :)

Homeward Bound

Later taters...:)

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do...

My dad has arrived for a visit for a while. He's going to putter and do renos on our kitchen and just be around us for a while. I hope it'll help him to be here. We're going to go shopping today together to find him some clothes - he used to do everything with Mum and now he's at a bit of a loss as to what to do. I figure I can at least help him pick stuff easy to wash and keep him company. I'm glad he's here so he's not on his own anymore...
While he's here I'm trying to find the balance between doing everything for him and helping/teaching him do stuff so he can more easily adjust to things as they are now. My first instinct is to do everything and I know it's not right. He's on his own now...he just finds it frustrating because if he has a question to ask about stuff Mum isn't there to tell him things so he has to just "guess" at what to do on some chores. It's not like he didn't do things himself before...he just didn't file away the details much, as he always had someone to ask. Nothing makes you feel lonely like that does...
It'll be nice to have him here for a while...I can't imagine what it's like for him. When you marry your best friend and then they're gone? Wow. I know for me, now that he's here, it's like she's just going to walk in the room any minute now. It's going to take a long time to get over that feeling.
It's his birthday tomorrow so we're taking him out for supper. His favourite thing is raisin pie...I admit to having no idea how to make it (I *hate* raisin pie - way too sweet) but I'll try and track down a recipe to make him one on the weekend...Mum used to make him one on his birthday. It just seems like the thing to do...

Gage

My cousin Cloe is having way too much fun taking pictures of her son Gage...eez cute No?

Impudence. Won't you come out to play?

You know what?
I had a lovely weekend.
We were supposed to go to Banff, but the weather was horrid and driving conditions were nasty so we stayed home...driving through the mountain roads in a blizzard is not my idea of a good time. We stayed home and relaxed...went out to a great dance party saturday night and ordered in chinese food sunday. I am so very mellow from a relaxing weekend reading, drinking tea and snuggling on the couch, listening to the new Orb album (which is very good BTW). It was nice...not at all what we planned, but, as it turned out, exactly what we needed.


Gotta run...so to close off things...here is a sweet photo of my two little nieces together from the weekend. Are they not adorable? :)

The turkey bird is the smartest bird

I'm so full of turkey I could explode.
Spent the weekend at the lake with family eating food, drinking beer and scotch and getting cigar smoke on my clothes from hanging out with the guys (much more interesting than sipping tea and talking recipes in the kitchen). Had a nice relaxing time, spending an evening staring at the milky way and helping my Dad build stuff in the shop. Even went for a run down to the narrows and back (~5K). It was a beautiful day on sunday so J and I went for a 4 hour hike (well OK half of it was spent talking in the woods eating snacks) and just enjoyed not having to do anything we didn't want to. Then we returned to a feast - my folks had everyone around over for a giant turkey feast and we all drank entirely too much wine and had a great evening talking and ranting about this and that.

Nice weekend really.

Father's Day

This is my Dad...he can fix anything, and has a heart as big as the moon and as warm as bathwater.
(FYI-He's not normally fondling grapes in the vineyard - this is my latest wine label...)

Happy Father's day Dad.
Luv ya!

Checkmate my good man

I got to hang out with my brother last night, which is always fun. My brother and I have always been close, and it's been great since he moved back into town, as I get to see him more often. We're both pretty busy, but for Christmas I gave him "Muffins of the Month" - essentially I'll bring him a dozen fresh baked muffins of his choice every month and then we'll hang out for the evening. He's happy as he gets muffins, and I'm guaranteed to get to visit with him at least once a month, which doesn't sound like much, but is definitely a good thing as it's hard to find a time we're both free to get together.

Last night after diddling around and playing with his new electric guitar that he got himself for his birthday (he's an aspiring blues guitarist) we got it into our heads to play a game of chess and realised neither of us could remember how to anymore...a lot of the moves and rules were very foggy, so Internet to the rescue! We found a site for teaching kids how to play chess and after reading up on it, although we both felt a little silly, we're both back in the game with castling and an passant skills a plenty. My brother was kissed on the butt by the Good Games Fairy when he was born and usually beats everyone at everything, so I was quite pleased when we ended our first game on a draw with both of us only having our kings left.

Next time however I will be victorious...

Wanna see my sister?

Hey everybody...mys sister's been on the TV.
Mee hee.
The local Ottawa news did a story on the lady who runs the homeless shelter where she works. Pat is the dark haired woman interviewed a few times in the piece- I'm so proud of what she does there. I know the story isn't about her, but I'm glad to see places like the Ottawa Mission get the recognition they need - they do very good work and help a lot of people that the rest of the world has just forgotten about.
If ya like have a look...not sure how long it'll be up. It's the the hometown hero story.