Christmas rant to my coworkers

Hi everybody!

You're all cool, so I feel I can say this: for the love of Pete (hi Pete), PLEASE stop trying to make me eat crap food with you.
I am eating healthy. I work out. It's the way I am now.
Yes I'm thin.
Guess why?
Yes! It's cuz I don't shove every available piece of baked good, chocolate or junk food in my piehole just because it is there anymore. Just because it's Christmas I don't need to "treat" myself any more than any other time of the year. Thing is, I'm an all or nothing gal. I can't have "just one" - I'm not wired that way. And, yes, I do still indulge in food that isn't good for me...but it's what *I* want. And I thoroughly enjoy it.

PLEASE - Stop getting big pieces of sugary or fat-filled foods that I don't like and have already politely refused and breaking it in half, eating "your half" ("oh, it's only "half" of it so it's not so bad for you-there there dear...") and pushing the other half at me and trying to force me to eat it. Stop saying "Go on! You're thin! Eat it!" It's' wierd. It keeps happening. You can save it for later. Or throw it out. I don't want it - if I did I would have eaten it. If you want it just eat it. Don't foist your guilt on me. It's all yours baby.

I am human. Rest assured this holiday season I plan on cozying up to some shortbread and Mum's nuts and bolts topped off with mulled wine and rummy eggnog and having at them like any respectable holiday goon.

But they're my indulgences on my terms.
Capiche?

Thanks..