Absolutely no cold fusion after hours

I'm starting the writing up a lot of standard operating procedures (SOPs) for our new labs. It's rather slow going, particularly with me spending all evening alone writing on my thesis, but very necessary. To keep my brain alert, I've added things to amuse myself as space fillers in a few SOPs which may or may not be removed when they are posted (to see if people actually read them!)

An excerpt from my yet to be completed working alone policy:

"... tasks that should never be done alone or after hours in the laboratory include:
-The dispensing or handling of dangerous chemicals (unless previously authorized)
-Any activity involving heavy lifting or the use of ladders
-Ninja training *
-Cold fusion *"

:)