Good riddance

I dislike february. It's usually the point of winter where I start going slightly mad from being inside from the cold and the winter wind. It's when the -40C temps hit for their last hurrah and I can be found some mornings on my way to the bus muttering and shaking my fist at the sky while bemoaning the wind and snow. This weekend I could be found in this state as I shivered waiting for the bus to work on saturday. Our car is feeling under the weather and until it's fixed, there will be extra spots of waiting in the cold for transit. Hopefully she won't take too many nickels to get running again. It's as tho the cold and dark is starting to affect inanimate objects as well. :)

I was somewhat hoping that being busy as hell this year would somewhat reduce this Februariness, but I'm afraid it's just made me more curmudgeonly. Instead of taking walks as I usually do for sanity breaks, I am left to resort to the internet and other indoor things. It is not ideal -the annoying thing about being busy all the bloody time is things sort of all blend together after a while, with the exception of the odd precious day off spent in blissful slothfulness. Work becomes life. I find it difficult to keep working after a long day of already working and while working, I have trouble not just stopping for a while because I feel like it, as I know there's no real end in sight, so why not really? Mostly it is becoming increasingly tricky to not get sidetracked on the internet in the middle of something useful, as...well...to be frank, I'm always bloody working. I take breaks when I can, but often it's just my brain wandering in the hopes that I won't notice and rein it back in. Often it takes a bit for me to get back to things and I waste too much time...or more often as of late I say f*ck it and don't come back to it at all...
Not good for getting work done.
Thankfully there is still the odd bit of quality distraction. This weekend I was able to sneak out for a bit with J on saturday night. My friend Theo's comic shop had it's 2 year anniversary, and so after to celebrate, he had a few local artists have a "draw off" in the upstairs of a local coffee bar where J played some funky Jazz and a bit of his own music for atmosphere as the evening's DJ. It was a nice evening relaxing with friends while watching a giant piece of art develop on the wall over the course of a few hours, which was then raffled off to charity (I lost. pity.). I was very proud of J. I will post some photos once I get them off my camera...it was a nice night.

Another small amusement has been my discovery this morning that, for the first time in 7 years, my hair is just long enough to pull back into a ponytail.
!
It's a little thing, but I'll take it.

Goodbye February. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Bring on March...

smooth like buttah

image

STOP COMING TO WORK SICK

After working with someone all day wednesday who kept sniffing and clearing their throat, blowing their nose and effectively spreading their germs all over the computer and papers we were working on (not to mention breathing all over me repeatedly...gah!) one of my supervisors finally admitted they're sick and is home today (finally). I kept asking them if they felt unwell and they kept insisting it was dust or the hot tea they'd just drunk -doctors are the worst patients. It is true.
It tried my best to not rub my nose and wash my hands a lot, but really - it was like living in a germ bubble. Blech.
I'm a bit of a germophobe, so it was starting to bug me. When I get a cold it lasts forever. If I could have politely worn a mask I would have...I don't have time to get sick and do my best to stay healthy.

So I think it's safe to say that if you give me about a week to incubate I should be sick then too.
Grrr...stupid other people and their stupid germs...

Um...what?

On my way back from the RTPCR lab this morning I saw an ad in the Arts tunnel board that made me stop walking. It was a poster advertising a "Speed date night - Christian style!" (yes, that part was bolded and italicised...shudder...). It went on to say a number of ways how, if I was between 19 and 29 (whew!) and was having trouble meeting a "godly" partner, that this...THIS was my chance to do that... and in a licenced environment. Yes, apparently this event was "finally my turn to get out and meet that special christian someone".

Oh dear god.
And it's a licenced event?
I can't imagine...my brain is full of ridiculous awkward images. I know it is morbid of me, but it would amuse me to be able to sit in the corner with a beer or two and watch it all unfold...because, seriously-the entertainment value would be huge...
Does this make me an evil person? (Or just a really sarcastic one who doesn't get out enough...)

Rawr! I am the clutterbeast!

Ah.
Yesterday I relaxed supremely, along with getting a LOT done about the house. My house is now all homey and inviting again -not a train wreck of clutter with random fluff and crumbs everywhere and papers scattered about.
Most importantly-there are muffins.
!

Tonight I can work off the kitchen table (which you can now see the top of) and sip tea as I start typing up drafts of my first assignment of the semester and get down to business with the long stretch of writing, reading and data munching and crunching that will fill my next few months.
I am ready now to dive in with flippers on...:)

Letting off some steam

Today is a made up winter holiday. "Family Day".
J, working for a large national conglomerate, doesn't get the day off, but I do. And I really should be working on my MSc, but you know what? I just plain don't want to. It's been a long dreary february and I think I'll just brew up the last of the Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee I have and settle in to read a book for a while. I will be good and do some things about the house eventually, but there is something to be said for being a normal human being for just a bit.

I got a bit of "normal" on saturday, and I want some more. As of today I've finally recovered from quite the saturday. It was a friend's birthday, so we decided to have a potluck on saturday. As it turns out, her and her partner had just gotten engaged the night before so it was quite a happy gathering of tasty food and drinks, which somehow advanced from a mellow food and movie gathering into a full on house party of epic proportions. (Personally I blame the drinking games and the Kraken spiced rum). After losing the drinking game at least twice, I vaguely recall making everyone newspaper hats and then a few hours of epic dancing about and grinning, before I ended up, true to my usual form, napping quietly in the corner as the festivities continued around me.

Yes...quite the night. Nick and Jessica were thoroughly and properly celebrated. I had a lot of steam to blow off and yes, I feel sufficiently vented. I came out of it, quite miraculously, no worse for wear. A little warmth in the midst of a long cold month.

And so today, against my better judgement I may just settle in for some coffee and Kraken and a good book.
Yarp.

Splish Splash

The university pool is FINALLY repaired :)
I can go swimming next week!
Yipadee :) It's been so long!

image

"so very hungry..."

Last week I pulled a muscle in my arm at the gym. Nothing too serious, but the healing of it does ache when I sleep on it wrong and it's still limited in motion for a while yet. I'm being kind to it.

Often when I have aches like that they work themselves into dreams. While visiting my Dad this weekend I did lots of lifting helping him unpack and my arm ached all night as I slept (restlessly). And so I had a vivid dream of a zombie onslaught, trapped in a wooden cabin with friends in which I had my left arm, where I pulled the muscle, bitten by a zombie. I spent a lot of the dream trying to figure out how they could put me under with the least amount of stress for all involved before I went all zombie on them, and as my arm throbbed from the bite I began to look at my friends in hunger. Not irrationally...but I strangely gained a deep inner hunger...starting to consider their tasty limbs...and brains...it was very disconcerting. I woke up thankfully before the hunger took me. Very wierd indeed.

Yesterday, I think due to exhaustion and the arm healing, I had an insatiable hunger like that in the afternoon that persisted all day. I honestly felt like the master in season finale of the 4th season of Doctor Who. It wasn't until I got home in the evening and devoured HALF of a small ready roasted chicken from the market that I actually felt like the deep hunger for what my body needed was finally filled. Yup- just meat with a tiny potato. (I'd like to add that I *did* use cutlery...)
And then, since J was working late, I just went to bed and I slept. All night. Guess protein and sleep was what I needed...hmmm...run down much, ya think?

Not the most romantic valentines day I've ever had, but when you're run down and famished and healing, sometimes a tasty chicken and sleep are the best thing for you, next to the delicious brain-parts of 1 or 2 of your closest friends. ahem.

And today is another bizarre day.
Much to do. Less ache. Less hunger... but much work.
Here's to another day full of narrowly escaping the loony bin my friends.
Cheers!

Difficult to quantify

Happy love day.

I generally frown on this day. I am however feeling all lovey this morning ...and the feelings are sort of cancelling each other out into a mood of general ambivalence to my fellow man.

And stuff.

So smile damn it and hug someone.

There?

See. :)

It's good for you...

Deep thoughts on a sleep deprived sunny morning

There is a fine waffly wibbley balance between striving for your best, and becoming self depreciating. Goals are good. Pushing yourself is good, but when you are your own worst critic, sometimes you have to take a break. Stop and think. Just be.
I struggle with all I do to keep it together. To find some sanity and time alone with my husband, who I don't see nearly enough of, and some peace in my rampant brain. I could just complain about it, but the reality is that until I finish school there will always be more to do: more to read, numbers to crunch, things to write, clothes to wash, houses to clean. There is always exercise to do so I'm strong and healthy to meet the challenges of the day - always food to eat to nourish me. The necessity of looking after me without going mental about it all. Much. BUT...I must remember: There will still be J to hug, tea to sip, sunbeams to curl up in and sometimes...just sometimes...precious moments to myself where I've nothing to do but just BE. In the past year I have learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. That my husband loves me utterly and completely and when I can't keep going, he'll hold me until I can.

And so another day begins.
I'm not perfect. I should not have to be...


image

Making fruit taste that much sweeter...

Banana musings...over on my other blog. I could cross post it, but you could just click this link too. So if you are interested on my thoughts about what I just learned about the not so nice things about most of the bananas we eat, well - Go on...click the link...
If not, have some tea. I've made a whole pot and there's enough to share.

Ode to time

There are times in my life I wish I had more time in my life.

This is one of those times...

Oh Canada

Heard this last night.
Made me smile :)

Newsflash - FRUIT IS EVIL!

Yesterday at afternoon coffee break as I ate a grapefruit, someone actually asked me "why do you eat so many fruits and vegetables anyways? Is it because you're exercising all the time?"

WTF?

I replied "After trying them, it turns out I *like* some fruits and vegetables. I really like apples and grapefruit. They & nuts are my favourite snack now. "
(I had an apple at lunch and a banana after my morning workout too. And a salad with beans and chicken at lunch...and there were blueberries in my cottage cheese this morning too. Oh dear god! The sheer amount of fruit!!!)
Then they said "But you had an apple at lunch too. That's so much fruit. Doesn't all that exercising make you hungry?
I said "Yes. I eat lots of healthy, high protein food and I'm satisfied."
Then they asked "but don't you exercise all the time now? You look way different than before"
I said calmly" No -I just exercise consistently. 5 days a week whenever I can for an hour, weights and some cardio. It's part of my day now. I feel great for it"
They looked confused.
I ate my grapefruit and coffee. And fumed...

I am still annoyed at how me exercising and eating healthy actually annoys people. I make a point of not talking about my exercise ever unless someone asks and I simply eat my healthy food happily and quietly. (And yes, I eat a lot of it. It's delicious) I just can't figure out why it is so unusual to eat 2-3 pieces of fruit a day. How is that a bad thing?

I just don't get why someone else feels guilty watching me eat well. Why they are confused. It's not like I've said anything to anyone about my choices to push them on anyone. J and I eat healthy now, but I still indulge in what I choose to. This weekend we had croissant sandwiches and I made some of the best raspberry scones I've ever made. With ice cream. For breakfast. YUM. I just make all I can from scratch, from healthy foods. We both feel great.

But, apparently I am a freak for eating too much fruit.
I give up.
banana anyone?
images

The end is near

Aaaaaand, now it's -3.

I give up. This winter is nuts!
Hooray for less layers going home :)

I've got prune hands

At the risk of sounding all girly, I have to say: My hands are a mess.
Seriously.
I always have dry skin and in the winters I have a painful and annoying problem - my fingertips will get so dry and chapped that they will crack. Owie. I work in a lab where you wear gloves a lot and then have to wash your hands with special strong soaps about 5 zillion times a day...(don't even talk about all the isogel crap we have to use) and with even more hours than normal with my MSc now that the worst of winter has hit my hands look like shrivelled old prunes. My main beef is not appearance - it just bloody well hurts. It's been happening a lot this year and just when one heals another cracks up. Currently I have two cracked fingers and a thumb on my right hand. Yes. Typing kinda hurts. And it's a contamination issue in the lab as it's technically an open wound.
*sigh*

The main cure for it is supposedly to crazy glue the cracks together (I'm not kidding - it's the only way to heal the bad ones -my doctor said to) and put lotion on all the time (which I do) and use super moisturizing stuff on your hands at night so they can heal. I try to do this but I can't seem to find something that doesn't feel slimy and super gross that will actually work. Stuff like glycosomed makes me feel like my hands are dirty...and I know I could rub petroleum jelly on my hands before going to bed but ew ew ew you can feel it and it's sticky and yucky and yes...I have tactile issues. It's tricky.

The other issue is the scent of some of these things. In the past my emergency remedy has been this hippy hand cream I found at the health food store - all natural stuff with extracts and cocoa butter and beeswax and it works sometimes, but smells strongly due to all the stuff in it. Nothing says sexy like going to bed smelling like a pinecone. Other pepperminty stuff I had that worked OK was vetoed by J as it made me smell "like a rancid candycane" (it really did smell horrid). Nevertheless, I think I will need to go hunting for something else because this hand cracking thing has got to stop. I have a lot of typing to do for my class. And it hurts.
whine
I'm willing to try anything at this point. I may even get in touch with my granny side and hunt down some Gold Bond medicated lotion. (despite the fact that the thought of it makes me feel like I need dentures and bifocals...)
Anyone have any suggestions for cracked dry hands? I'm willing to try it. Especially if it's come cool make-it-yourself stuff...

image

Thank god for arm warmers...

How cold was it this morning?

-41 C with a windchill warning.

I wore a balaclava and 2 pairs of pants with all my kit to wait for the bus this morning...brrr.

Now it's a mere -32 with the wind...should warm up to more human temps by thursday.

This weather this time of year is so random. I mean, last week it was +2! We have a 4 foot icicle of doom hanging out on our front corner of our roof from all the melting. It's super spikey danger cool. Once it is less frigid I'll get a photo of it.

All this chill makes me reconsider reducing my fat layer over the last few years.

Hmmm...I wonder how much pudding I'd have to eat to bulk up by the time I catch the bus home?

image source