Ah yes...we were all gripped with concern watching the news a few days ago as the city and province workers were hunting for a man caught in an overturned vehicle outside the city, caught in -30 weather and needing rescue before he froze during a snowstorm.
"Well hurray!" we thought as he was rescued after many hours of searching and assistance form emergency workers. After all, he could have frozen to death! What a lucky man!
And as the days go by and we learn more about his amazing rescue we do learn that it is indeed a miracle he was rescued before he froze to death.
Why?
Well, because he was wearing nothing but a pair of pants.
Yessir. Middle of a prairie winter and the man is clad in nothing but jeans. No shirt. No shoes. Nada.
Oh, just wait - it gets better.
The reason he couldn't tell rescue workers where he was in the storm was because he honestly didn't know.
Why?
Well, he wasn't just lost in a storm...he REALLY didn't know. You see, he didn't drive much as he's had a suspended license for 10 years. BUT, really, the main reason that this gleaming example of gentlmanly charm was lost was because he had gotten blind drunk that afternoon and had an argument with his neighbor, after which he stormed out to a vehicle (wearing only pants) in the middle of a snowstorm and proceeded to drive off in a drunken rage until he passed out at the wheel...
Oh yes.
And the vehicle swerved off the road and rolled over. This man woke up a few hours later upside down in the ditch, in freezing weather (wearing only pants), finding he was freezing to death...*somewhere*.
He frantically called for help to the emergency number and asked for rescue - by some stroke of luck, he had a cell phone. Emergency crews sent out a wide search all over the area around the city...putting their own lives at risk, systematically checking all the nearby roads and grid roads (and believe me...in this province, that's a *lot* of road), as the idiot could see no landmarks or signs of interest to tell where he was. He couldn't even go around the car to *look* for possible landmarks or signs, as...you guessed it - no *shoes*. Phone workers helped him cannabilize his vehicle for insulation to try and keep his drunken ass from freezing to death until he was finally rescued before he succumbed to the cold.
Now this, to me, would be something to put me off drinking forever and be utterly humiliated. Not this guy. He was on local radio being interviewed about it, joking like it was some Jerry Springer episode. His wife was interviewed too. These idiots are amused about what he did -think it was fine and enjoying their bit of fame. After all - noone got hurt!
sigh
I know that when I tell this story, people will giggle (wearing only pants?)...as on the prairies, well, sometimes we get the wierdos. I *would* just like to say that there are a lot of us here still worth getting to know...most of us can be quite *nice* actually.
Except for No Pants Guy...He's a *special* kind of something - I personally wish I could nominate him for the Darwin award, except he survived.
At least he's going to have to pay for all the costs of his rescue...though, not surprisingly, *he* doesn't think he should have to.
Ah. I can just feel the hometown pride swelling deep within me.
Or maybe it's that second taco I had for supper...
4 comments:
Oh, I wouldn't worry about that Darwin award for that guy, at the rate he is going he will wind up with one soon! Darned right he should have to pay for his rescue and be charged with DUI & driving while suspended as well! Throw the book at him - hard, it is the only way some people learn.
I think that was probably that second taco talking back.
How did the Bag Lady miss this story? She heard about a rescue going on, but didn't hear the whole thing.
So...Sask. has wierdos, too, eh?
And he thinks the whole story is funny, eh?
And his wife thinks it's funny, too, eh?
Wonder how much laughing she'd have done if they hadn't managed to find the idjit before he froze to death?
Kudos go to the rescue teams who found him and saved his miserable dumb drunken ass.
(hey, my word verification looks like burrito...proof positive it was the taco talkin'!)
Just for clarification, do you mean "pants" as "trousers" (U.S. English) or as "underpants" (U.K. English)?
Trousers. Underpants would really have taken it over the top...
Post a Comment