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Friday, August 17, 2007

lost in the wilderness

I fell at the moment to be caught up in a loop.
I don't know know what I need to do.
I don't know how to do it.
And yet I keep stumbling upon fundamental character flaws within gmyself that I don't understand, can't halt and have no idea how to reaarange or redirect.
It's like trying to get to a destination without a map, or a description of your destination.
At the moment I feel as though I have failed the important people in my life...that I need to be a better partner and friend. I seem unable to step outside of myself and consider the needs of others sometimes. I'm so afraid of unhappiness and conflict that I hide from it...and I can't deal with it in a way that makes me a partner and not a liability.
I've got a lot on my mind right now...it's all jumbled and hobbled together in a sticky mess and I can't for the life of me make any sense of it.
I don't know why I'm even writing this as it's not like I need advice.
I just need to try and make sense of it all and don't know where to start...

How do I find the road less travelled when I don't even know where I'm going?

3 comments:

Corey said...

Let your heart be your shining North Star to lead the way.

Magnus said...

You pick yourself you, dust yourself off and keep on keepin' on. Cliched but somehow the suggestion that unique sexual favours go a long way in forgiveness just doesn't seem like it would fly.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

"It's like trying to get to a destination without a map, or a description of your destination."

so you're trying to solve the crisis in the Middle East, eh?


"At the moment I feel as though I have failed the important people in my life...that I need to be a better partner and friend."

Sounds like you're depressed. I've been depressed on a couple occassions, and every time I was always terrified of being a burden, not being fun to be with, letting people down, being a downer, etc. The thing to remember is that these feelings are in your head, not theirs, and that if you talk to your loved ones and let them know how you're feeling, you'll find they don't feel you've let them down but they're concerned about you and want to help.

And for what it's worth (not much probably) we're here for you to.