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Monday, January 04, 2010

Nominee for sainthood

I am seriously considering nominating my Mum for sainthood. The woman's strength and faith never cease to amaze me.
It has been a long week...good and bad in many ways. My sister flew down New Year's Day to visit for a week and I am very glad she is here. It has been a real time for family closeness - my family is strongest when together and we are able to lean on each other. It has meant a lot to Mum that we are all here and able to really visit, even though I know she'd rather be home. My sis wanted to come and visit and not just come when it was "too late" and I completely agree with her thinking. She's been a great comfort and company for Mum and Dad, as my brother and I cannot get away from all our obligations (curse you work).
And poor Mum...Mum is comfortable, but I am sad to say that it is looking more and more like there may not be too much they can do for her heart. She is simply old and weak, and her poor heart is just not very strong, and has many many problems. She is not in pain, which I am eternally grateful for, but is so very tired and her appetite is not good. She's got excellent care and they are doing what they can for her, but the fluid is still staying with her so she is always short of breath. If we are very lucky she might get to come home and rest there, but I'm starting to think that may be too hopeful...we shall see.

I was up today and had lunch with her. She had soup and a bit of fruit as she's just not hungry...she seemed a bit down, as she had a procedure this morning to try and clear out her lungs a bit-they drained one side. She said it helped for a little while, but her breathing sounded worse to me by the time I got there. I was really hoping it would give her a few days of relief and a bit easier time of it, but it doesn't seem to be the case. I could tell she was very dissapointed...but she never said anything negative. Unbelievable.
She has lots of visitors to help her pass the time, and lots of family are coming to visit from all over, but sometimes...well, she just looks so sad. I can't imagine what it's like to have time to think and have come to terms with your own mortality like that.
She really is a saint though - still smiles and talks when she can and never complains. Never.
She is calm and mostly at peace with everything, and honestly ready for whatever happens. She's not angry or bitter, even when she is disappointed like she was this morning from the procedure not helping very much. I know she's just glad to be with us whenever we can come.
We're all just trying to enjoy the time we have together. It's hard, but we have each other to lean on.
It's just so very sad.
Still -I'm grateful for this time we all have together. So many people aren't given a gift like this. I plan on making the most of it, whatever "it" is.
I probably won't be posting too much in the next while...but thank you all for your kind thoughts and wishes.
Later taters...

4 comments:

Donnw/2nz said...

That was a lovely tribute. It is hard to think about the unthinkable.
My Dad's heart gave out 30 years ago when he was only 45. Now that I'm 52 I think that I have been cheating the Reaper for some time.
I find some solace in the fact that I won't linger because I would be a real pain in the ass and drive everyone nuts.

I know it's tough but every day is a gift and your being aware of that makes it even more special. She sounds like a Saint, I want to hug her :)

the Bag Lady said...

This was well said, Geo. I can totally relate to how you feel - it is so sad to watch a loved one deal with declining health.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Corey and Kristi said...

It goes without saying that we are sending our love and warmest thoughts in this time of concern.

Pacian said...

Geo, you're truly a lovely daughter.