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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Be careful what you wish for.

I've been at my current job 11 years now. I like it most days, but some of the people I work for frustrate me-I often get treated like personal assistant instead of a lab tech and feel like I'm underutilized...but permanent lab work that's not high stress is hard to come by, so unless something way better came up, I had no interest in going anywhere. So I've been patiently waiting and waiting...a new lab building on campus means new lab manager positions - like what I do now for a few people only for a whole focused group. Quite frankly, it is a job I am a shoe in for - I can do it. All of it and then some. It is the same or bit more pay, with a few perks. I've put my feelers out to those in charge and let them know about my interest and they are happy with me being interested. One of them stopped by today to let me know about one of the positions being posted next week, and I think I'd have a real honest shot at it.

Stupid thing is it all seems too real now. And rather freaky. To give up a permanent job I like but often drives me CRAZY to one which is a 1 year renewable that I will like longer...that is suited to me and everyone thinks I should be doing? It will likely become permanent, but it's still a bit daunting. It's non union, so it would all be about qualifications and not seniority...so I'd get it if I was the best candidate. The way it should be in my mind.

Thing is, I'm the breadwinner so this freaks me out a bit. I know I'm employable, and right now J is gainfully employed so we have some slack...but it's a big step. The kind of step my MSc makes me far more suitable for. If I didn't get it I'd still be OK where I am...and rather disappointed to be honest, but I wouldn't be any worse off. My current job has been more than kind while I did my MSc and I don't want to come off as not being appreciative of that fact.

...but when I look in at my own mind I know I want more.

And so....I have to put on my big girl sparkle panties and pick some good references...and ask their permission and then try and update my resume over the weekend. With any luck all this positivity will turn into an interview...and perhaps more.

Breath in. Breathe out.

5 comments:

grapecat said...

go!go!go! you can do it :)
do you have time to talk this weekend? sounds like we have lots of commiseration

Geosomin said...

Yes it would :)
...I'll email you about a time when I am sure...sunday I think...

Crabby McSlacker said...

This sounds like a great opportunity--best of luck!

And very inspiring... I need to remember to put on a pair of those big girl sparkle panties and take on more challenges myself!

the Bag Lady said...

Sparkle panties can be a bit scratchy, but you get used to it!

You go, girl!

Pacian said...

Best of luck with this! I know the feeling of being apprehensive about leaving security for prosperity...