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Monday, October 04, 2010

An open letter to the director of Ninja's Creed

Dear sir,

I feel compelled to write to you about your latest film Ninja's Creed. Although the poster and the description alluded to an exciting B movie adventure involving ninjas, your movie did not have any credible ninjas in it. There was no skulking, sneaking, fighting or other ninja-like shenanigans.... even the rare and underwhelming assassinations by your so called "ninja" were alluded to off screen and done by a woman who was so obviously unmuscled I doubt she could have taken anyone unawares, let a lone assassinate them in a variety of splattery ways. Perhaps noone pointed it out to you at the time, but an Asian woman in tight pants with a knife does not make a ninja. Your film left us with poor dialog and mediocre acting...and no damn ninjas.

I am not a fussy a movie-goer. I am willing to sit through a perfectly average film (even a poor one) if there are well choreographed fighting scenes or cool effects - and *especially* if there are battling ninjas. Had there been even one reasonable ninja or good fight scene in your movie I would have sat through to the end of it, but I didn't make it past the half way mark. Even Mystery Science Theatre style mockery by myself and my husband wore thin by halfway through the film and we simply had to shut it off. It was terrible.

In the future, if you plan on making a movie entirely without ninjas please feel free to leave the term ninja from the title and description of the film so that suckers like myself will walk by it to find another one with ninjas: perhaps a label like "100% ninja free", or "Now with less ninjas" would suffice.

I wanted ninjas to fill my evening with relaxing entertainment. Please make an effort next time.

Sincerely,
Geo

2 comments:

Trent said...

You keep using that word, ninja. I do not think it means what you think it means

There were a couple ninja movies that came out at about the same time. Have you seen the other one? Is it more, Ninja-y?

Trent said...

Sorry, the Inigo HTML tags got put into the HTML, there....