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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Permission to freak out sir

I defend my thesis tomorrow at 10AM.
Gak.
I've read and studied and I don't feel ready because there is so much to know, but I'm going to keep reading and I've finished my talk and it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself. It has a few extra cool figures and diagrams and I do believe it will come in between 15 and 20 minutes, so it's just a matter of not freaking out and forgetting everything.
I have my clothes picked out - professional but comfortable skirt and sweater with my burgundy operetta Fluevog boots for luck.
I just have to make it through a final night of revision. I am in a panic. I met with my TO supervisor after she got in today to go over the 2 papers we are going to write from this project which helped a bit ,but it didn't make me feel any calmer...so tonight I'm going to read my thesis over once more...and try and not eat everything I see out of stress (too late). I have one remaining bottle of rhubarb cider waiting for me to have at supper, but until then, I am going to review until my dad gets here. He's come down for moral support and is going to come to my speech :)

I have some yummy looking smoked pork chops to BBQ up with some tin foil veg for supper for the 2 of us. J works tonight but he hopefully can come to the speech tomorrow too, and afterwards my committee and I are going out for lunch at the faculty club. The speech isn't in a big room, just a small board room, so there won't be more than 10 people there to hear me speak. I almost wish it was in a bigger room so my brother and some of my coworkers could come, but I suppose "just" a MSc isn't that big of a deal to people on a monday at the start of fall classes.

Oh well, *I* know how important it is to *me* - Dad, J and I and my brother and his family are going to go out for chinese to celebrate for supper at a yummy gluten free place and I will be sure to put some of my IPA in the fridge to crack when I get home from the speech and lunch to celebrate. It's been a month in the bottle so it should be ready to drink from my hideous english celebratory beer mug I found this spring...the hideous makes it taste better :)

I just have an image of me panicking and not being able to answer questions intelligently under pressure and just saying the same few words over and over again in a panic, but I am hoping I can keep it together. Deep down I know that I know this stuff, I really do. It's just a matter of not wigging out.

Eep.

If you hear a WOHOO tomorrow at about noon, it's just me :)

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