It’s fascinating to me sometimes just how much my husband and I are alike. Sure we differ in the quintessential inny and outy bits, and a some opinions here and there (keeps things interesting), but for the most part we tend to agree on most things. Even during premarital counseling, we were given personality tests to help flush out possible areas of discord…turns out we’re the same type! And that is the case – if we argue or find fault in each other, generally it is for things in ourselves we dislike that we see in each other. It’s not all that cut and dry, but often I am amazed at the similarity of our interests.
A few weeks ago Wierd Science was on late night and I was watching it laughing remembering the zillions of times I watched it as a kid…only to have J look at me and say “are you kidding? I watched that too much too”. And other obscure things, like Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future, Transformers, and a rabid love for certain films and music. I suppose it helped being a tomboy growing up too…
The thing is, many of the things we share are based on totally separate childhood memories fused together in odd ways. For example - Wayne’s World. When signing the papers for our house we were utterly confused and way out of our league. I mean we were asking things like “if we find buried treasure do we get to keep it if we don’t have mineral rights?” (FYI-you do). And when we were given the papers to look over before signing, J and I both felt like Wayne and Garth signing their contract saying “MHmmmm...Yes...I like what you’ve done there. What does this? OH! I see…yes, yes it looks good. We’ll sign it”. When we talked it over later we both felt like that...it was really something else.
And yet we do differ…I’m not a trekkie or Doctor Who nut to the high degree J is, I’m more the Star Wars, medieval fantasy novel type...although we both have our own lightsabers (what? you expect us to share? Besides...everybody knows Darth Vader's was way cooler) I’m a comic book person (think Tank Girl), he’s more the graphic novel type (think Batman). I love to cook...he'd burn water. I'm an eternal optimist...he tends to be more pessimistic. He's a great noticer of detail and I"m generally oblivious to all but the very shiniest of things. I grew up a Sherlock Holmes admirer with a strange love for musicals and cheesy horror films while he was more of a Lovecraftian/HG Wells & get a kick out of sci fi and Ed Wood films kinda guy (which I love about him...he exposed me to many things like that that I now love too). He likes breaks and funk for dancing where I lean more to psytrancy techno and ambient…yet we share an affinity for most all music, and for that I’m glad. Many couples I know argue over music and decor and “settle” for something they can both stand. It’s so much easier knowing I can say “you pick” sometimes because I'll usually like whatever he chooses. And I've read SO many great novels based on his suggestion...
And honestly? So many relationships crumble as their spouses complain about each other and spend time out with friends rather than with their partner. While the argument that we don’t have a giant social circle of friends could be said, the main thing is we’d rather hang out with each other most of the time…J truly is my best friend. I don't complain to others...I talk to him about things. Things aren't perfect, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t have settled for anything less…and I’m glad we found each other. Perhaps we don't lead the most thrill filled life there is, but there is so much love in it.
Why is this on my mind?
Well…I dunno. I’ve just been thinking about J today...and smiling a lot.