Where would I be without another quiz?

Holy zarquon, you're Ford Prefect! Traveling the

galaxy is just another day in your book, man.

You live for the thrill and the nightlife,

although you've got an issue with caring for

others. Everyone likes you, though, because

of your party-going personality. I sass that

hoopy Ford Prefect! Rock on, man!


The Legitimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

International Woman's Day

It's the day to appreciate women.
So go on...appreciate me.(just kidding!)

Seriously, take the time today to call your Mom, your Grandma, hug your daughter, kiss your wife, and for just today, don't beat up your sister (go on, I know you can do it). If you are a woman, do the same and be glad if where you live in this fine world of ours you are free and respected and allowed to openly express your thoughts, beliefs and inner beauty. I, for one, hope and pray that attitudes that degrade and damage women and our human dignity (like old pervy there on the weekend) will become a thing of the past.

Boots of Pain

There's a little red spot on my toe today
It's a little bit bigger than yesterday
There's a bit of steel toe that's rubbing on my foot
Falling out of the front of my right winter boot

In the summer and fall I have these groovy shoes (they're my superstars)
They are comfy and bouncy and they're rainproof too (groovy superstars)
In the winter I'm stuck with ubercrappy boots (that always make me mad)
They're so beat up and tattered that they are kaput (really, they are bad)


Well I have stood here before with a big roll of tape
Trying to fix up my boots into a better shape
I am hoping that spring will come and end their rein
But it's my destiny to wear the Boots of Pain....

Well, there's a steel bit protruding down into my foot (my sore big right toe)
I've tried shuffling and hopping but it's just no good (my poor big red toe)
I have already patched the other heel and toe (in my crappy boots)
And now the front of the other one's about to go (stupid crappy boots)

Well I have stood here before with my roll of duct tape
Trying to fix up my boot into a painless shape
I keep hoping for spring to come and start it's rein
Cuz then I can destroy these bloody Boots of Pain

Well, there's a little red spot on my toe today
It's a little bit bigger than yesterdaaaaaaaaaay.....

Slip slidin' away

Heh heh..know what is more fun than 2 feet of snow over 3 days? A whole night of rain on top of it.
Wow...the city is a mess. I'm actually GLAD I took the bus today. We were about 25 minutes late, but I got there.
There's a cute old german couple that take the bus with me, and she was walking normally to the bus while he kept giggling and saying things like "look at me...all these years I've never skated and look at me now!". His wife had these cool little slip on cleats for ice. She was walking along like normal.
I gotta get me some of those!

I'm hiding inside with some coffee until the world melts...

An open letter to the perv at the club on saturday night

May I be the first to congratulate you on your stylish attire. Yes you can dance well, and you likely spent more time than I did getting ready for the evening. I'm disgusted you took the time to amuse us and our friends as we watched you casually try to grope half the women there before you found someone accomodating. We're all happy for both of you. However, I did not spend $15 to come and be BE one of those women groped by you on the dance floor - believe it or not I came with MY HUSBAND to hear new school breaks and progressive trance and dance like a monkey. Although it is mildly flattering to find that you think I am attractive, please believe me when I say that I do NOT feel the same about you (you perv).
And so, to avoid a similar social faux pas for you in the future, let me offer the following suggestions for impressing and picking up women, based on a group critique of your performance saturday night:

1) Wedding rings: Generally they are a social "tip off" that the person is indeed taken. When they smile happily at you it doesn't mean the ring is decorative...it means the person is happy to be there and enjoying themselves. To put it succinctly: ring + happy woman = not available and a waste of your precious time.
2) When a woman is dancing and smiling and looks up to see that you are also having a good time and smiles at you it means she is happy and is glad that you are too. It is not an open invitation to grab her ass. Even if she is indeed shaking it, it is not for you. BAD hand, no gropey.
3) If you grab a womans ass to pull her towards your crotch and try to dance with her groin next to yours and she pulls away and gives you a look like you are indeed the biggest perv on the planet, it doesn't mean she's playing hard to get and you just need to step up your advances. This is not a classy way to pick up women...or their asses. Move on, before you get canned.
4) After 3 unsuccessful ass grabs when the woman gives you the finger, points at here forementioned wedding ring and then goes over to her husband and dances with HIM, leave her alone. By this, I mean that when she walks by you later WITH him, don't reach out for a final grab as she walks by as a pleasant reminder of just how classy you are and what she is missing out on. Trust me, it just makes her start to wish your willie would fall off. May I say that you are lucky my husband is a gentleman and trusts me to look after myself. You may not be so lucky next time.(you perv)

And so to sum up: Married woman happily dancing with their husbands are not waiting to be groped by you. No woman, even if she is dancing alone is. And no, if at first you don't succeed, you should not try again. Even the female version of you that hounded my friend deserves better than that. I must say that I am glad that you two eventually had a fun evening groping each other, as you deserve each other. I'm sure you'll be very happy together...for at least a few hours.

Thankfully I had a great time despite you. Please take my advice to heart and perhaps you'll be lucky enough to meet a wonderful person to share your life with. I did. Believe me when I say sincerely, I and my ass are very happy.


PS - Perv

Down with Negativity

OK, so I've noticed this weblog is turning into where I go to vent negativity.
Not cool.
So, other than comments and discussion I will try and keep the negativity to a minimum. My ethic as of late has been to spread goodness and cheer and then hope it will spread and make the world a better place one person at a time. I need to get back at that.

And so for good measure, to cancel out some of the woogy bits I've posted lately here are a few of the happy things I could think of (well, or things that make me happy anyways):
Daffodils, bunnies (especially the floppy eared sort), fluffy chickens, hot cocoa, Geek (my cat), Samosas, ladybugs, stained glass windows, pistachio pudding, bubble tea, cupcakes, snowmen, Opus, listening to music, Gustav Klimt, iridescent stones, Guiness, strawberries, hot water bottles, chocolate covered pretzels, hore frost, sushi, Emily Carr, happy hopping gerbils, candlelight, cordoroy, 4 leaf clovers, loons singing on a the lake, tobogganing, earl grey tea, popcorn, the smell of campfire smoke, flannel shirts on a cold evening, guacamole, dancing for joy, baby sea otters and frozen grapes melting slowly in your mouth...

There.
Ahhhhh.

Buggernuts

So the education version (way cheaper) of the Logic Pro audio software I've been waiting for from Apple has FINALLY arrived over 2 months from when I ordered it.
And hey, guess what?
The delay was because it was being upgraded to a new version...
which it turns up I have to upgrade my OS for...
AND (wait for it.....) the new OS is now on backorder for 8-10 days!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

J & my simple "winter boredom putoff project" won't be available until way into spring and is getting way to complicated.
Sigh...waiting is the story of my life lately.
I just hope it actually works...and that my old software still works on the new OS or I will be some pissed.

Technical Difficulties...Please Stand By

Just a quick note to say I might not be here too much over the next bit. My computer tried to melt on me and it's getting repaired, so it's gonna be trickier to get on line...so don't take it personally OK?

Joy!

You Are Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

You take the title "mad scientist" to the extreme -with very scary things coming out of your lab. And you've invented some pretty cool things, from a banana sharpener to a robot politician. But while you're busy turning gold into cottage cheese, you need to watch out for poor little Beaker! "Oh, that's very naughty, Beaker! Now you eat these paper clips this minute."

The Muppet Personality Test

How to embarrass a scientist

I like to check McSweeney's out occasionally. They have an odd collection of stories, open letters, lists and generally strange comments on the world and society in general. This list made me laugh out loud, and feel quite embarrased for my profession in general. Also, it is a great example of why we scientists sometimes feel dumb admitting what we do...sadly they are real articles. *giggle* And researchers even wonder why it's so hard for us to get funding for real research nowadays...

10 Groundbreaking Research Article Titles
by Jane Newman

Weight loss and diarrhea in a research dog. Lab Anim Sci 1999 Dec;49(6):585-7.

A steroid stupor in a surgical ward. Br J Psychiatry 1991 Jan;158:125-7.

A retrospective analysis of the results of 218 consecutive rhinoplasties. Br J Plast Surg 1995 Oct;48(7):451-4.

Experimental assessments of behavioral and anatomical components of female chacma baboon (Papio ursinus) sexual attractiveness. Psychoneuroendocrinology 1986;11(1):75-90.

A late medieval Yiddish manuscript on bloodletting. Clio Med 1975 Dec;10(4):267-76.

Comparison of effects on colonic motility and stool characteristics associated with feeding olestra and wheat bran to ambulatory mini-pigs. Dig Dis Sci 1999 Jul;44(7):1282-7.

Hypersensitivity pneumonitis in peat moss processing plant workers. Am J Respir Crit Care Med 1998 Aug;158(2):412-7.

Tuberculous meningitis in a Filipino maid. J Formos Med Assoc 1999 Nov;98(11):783-6.

Bourdonnement and other benign temporary breast implant sounds. Ann Plast Surg 1999. Dec;43(6):589-91.

Pig sticking injuries are no joke.Garner P. BMJ 1995 Sep 30;311(7009):878.

Woot

So much snow!
We've had a snowy blizzard of a night. First the wind (which I walked home in and could have done without) but then the cool blizzardy snow came. THEN the hail..not big hail, just the kind that sounds like a rainstick when it hits the windows. Very neat sound to listen to. Then it snowed ALL night. Walking to the bus was an adventure...there is probably about a foot of snow and noone had been out yet, so I got to make the first tracks through it. I love when that happens. Hopefully the weather will get things out of her system and then we can get to spring.

It can keep snowing all week for all I care! I have nowhere in particular to be and a friend just lent us Space Ghost and Harvey Birdman on DVD to watch on her week away (she works up north up at the mine laboratory). Nifty. Nothin to do but eat chili, drink tea, listen to music, read (I'm on the third Dune book now) and relax for the next few days. I'm not going on strike (whew) so I can relax in my house and let life go back to normal and obey the fluffly weather's commands and stay inside all comfy cozy.

Woot.