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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Well played Diddums, well played

I was browsing the Diddums’s blog and got tagged unawares.
The instructions seem simple:
Look at the list of books below & bold the ones you’ve read.
Italicize the ones you want to read and leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in.
And...If you are reading this - tag! You’re it!

Muahahahaaaa...:)

Being at home on a Mac with no text editing in Blogger on my Safari browser (*ahem* take note and FIX THAT Blogger) I've had to make quick modification: I've put a * after ones I've read, and a # after ones I'd like to.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)*
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)* (yawn)
3. To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee)*
4. Gone With the Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)*
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)*
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)*
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)*
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)#
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)*
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)*
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)#
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)*
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)#
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)*
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)* (one of my favorites)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)*
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)*
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)*
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)#
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)*
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)*
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)*
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)*
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)*
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)#
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)#
34. 1984 (Orwell)*
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)*
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)#
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)#
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)*
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)*
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)#
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible (not the whole thing)*...yes the whole thing
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)#
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)#
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)#
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)*
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)#
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)*
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)*
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)#
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)*
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)*
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)*
60. The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)#
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)#
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)#
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)#
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)#
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)#
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)* half done and had to return it to the library...plan on finishing it when I can
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)*
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)#
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)#
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)#
73. Shogun (James Clavell)#
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)#
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)#
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)*
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)*
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)*
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)*
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)#
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)#
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)#
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)*
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)#
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)*
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)#
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)#
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)*

Read:39
Read part of: 1
Might read: 27

So - how 'bout you?

Wanna see my sister?

Hey everybody...mys sister's been on the TV.
Mee hee.
The local Ottawa news did a story on the lady who runs the homeless shelter where she works. Pat is the dark haired woman interviewed a few times in the piece- I'm so proud of what she does there. I know the story isn't about her, but I'm glad to see places like the Ottawa Mission get the recognition they need - they do very good work and help a lot of people that the rest of the world has just forgotten about.
If ya like have a look...not sure how long it'll be up. It's the the hometown hero story.

Curse you ebay

I've never had what you'd call a normal taste in music. Oh sure I like U2, Coldplay, Gomez and some mainstreamy type stuff...but largely my musical taste has drifted more and more to indie rock and electronic/ambient genres. A lot of what I like is hard to track down, especially out here in the prairies where country (ick) is king...which can make it frustrating (and at times downright expensive) to track down the music J or I want. Y'see I'm one of those die hard support the artist types who can't just steal music if I like it a lot - I figure if I don't support these guys and I'm having trouble finding them they'll never make it if I don't give them a few $$ now and then for the privilege of hearing their music. And so I often have to hunt and pay dearly for the tunage I like.

Some artists, like William Orbit, Lemon Jelly and Orb can be found on holidays to larger cities, or through Amazon, but largely, music is a hunt. And I have recently discovered that ebay has all manner of great music I want...and I'm also finding a lot I never knew was out there and now of course absolutely must have to hear. This means finding stuff, bidding on it...and the anguish of not winning a lot of it. I mean, I know you're only technically outbid by 50 cents to loose an auction but seeing it is always frustrating. You wonder - will it come up for sale again or should I bid like mad on it? How much am I willing to spend? It's also daunting seeing what some music I want sells for sometimes. Often I'll get lucky and snag a CD for 3 or 4 bucks...sometimes regular store price, but every once in a while the world goes nuts for something - a few examples:
I lost out on a KLF CD compilation of rare tracks that are no longer available for sale - went for over $40 plus shipping. An Aubrey remix CD of the Orb - went for over $80! Eep.

And now I'm on the wait to win a Moby ninja remix...and hopefully a remix compilation with some KLF and Orb on it...some Shpongle, and some others...all which I may or may not get...*if* I remember to bid on it in time and *if* I don't get outbid beyond what I'm willing to pay for them...*sigh*

Why oh why do I have to like music so much?
Curse you ebay you foul temptress...I am addicted to you.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Winter Wonderland

There is hoar frost on EVERYTHING this morning-it's so beautiful!
And me without my camera...

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Flowsnakes




It's been a snowin for 2 days...fluffy pretty flowsnakes.
The weather's been mild and it's been quite a nice winter wonderland.

It's been good to hide out with tea and a blanket when you're feeling under the weather and watch the snow.
Thought I'd share the views from our windows with ya.





It's been nice enough that we even let the cats out on the deck as they'd been begging to be outside-
but after a few minutes of seeing their own breath they were not amused and wanted back in.
Can't please everyone I suppose.



The geek was not amused...

Friday, February 23, 2007

head kick

I know it's a kid but this is damn funny...and besides. The kid learned a valuable lesson :)

Science!

Just looked it up, and apparently the chemical formula of the molecule of my name (spelled properly) is:

C12H22O

which if you draw it all molecularly like is like this:














and if you say it is:

4, 8a-dimethyldecalin-4a-ol

or

4, 8a-dimethyl-decahydronaphthalen-4a-ol

depending on your preferences of nomenclature.

So...erm...still best you call me Geo then, eh?

Thursday, February 22, 2007

What I did on my winter vacation

Well, my head still feels a bit like a zeppelin, but I feel well enough to join the land of the living again.
And soo...I feel I must babble on a bit about our trip to Vancouver on the weekend. All names have been changed to protect the innocent (well...ok just Magnus).

It was so nice to be away...to be where there are green things everywhere. Trees, grass, hell, there were ferns! I loved it. It was chilly, but nowhere near the arctic temperatures we'd been dealing with before we left. It rained a bit, but not all the time, so we even got out and about a bit in Stanley Park and did OH so many things.

It was a culinary tour I tels ya. Mag-o-nus picked us up at the airport and took us for some of the best szechwan food I've ever had...shrimp with sour red pepper sauce and spinach and so many other yummy things...and enough for later after the concert too. Yum. Even a dish that had deep fried spinach, which I honestly wouldn't have thought was good...and some dumplings with peanut sauce that were so good they made me drool. And then La Casa Gelato on the way home...with no less than 218 types of gelato! Curry flavour, green tea, taro root and pear and marscapone cheese to name just a few flavors...heh..you could sample as many as you wanted. And oh did I...I settled on pinapple poppyseed. I must go there again...and again...

The next day...more food! A terrific Dim Sum (the best peanut dumplings I've ever had!) - J who is leery of seafood and dim sum in general thoroughly enjoyed it...and more hanging out with Magnus. We had a few interesting "beers-of-the-world" to take with us to Stanley Park: cherry lambic, wheat stout and a lemon ginger beer that I didn't like ("No sir I don't like it..."). It was a shame to see Stanley Park as devastated as it was by the storms that hit it. Areas of forest that were lush and thick were pushed to the ground. A lot of it was still closed sdue to danger of falling trees. We saw a bit of it, walked the beach..sipped bear from coffee cups and discussed philosphy, life and the meaning of everything.

Then we had a culinary experience I'll remember for a long long time. We went to a "tasting house" called salt off Blood Alley in Gastown in Vancouver. You could select various meats and cheeses and condiments to go with them and have wines to go with it. I had a plate put together for me of corned beef, Piccadilly relish, spicy capicolla and fruit chutney, apples and aged yummy cheese together with 3 kinds of wine, chosen to accent the flavour of the food. J had 3 different things too (some Bison salami, smoked pork, Guinness relish) as did Magnus (cheese and figs are good together - who knew?)...so we had 9 different flavours to sample together with tasty bread. Magnus had some fine scotch and J had a mix of wines as I did - different ones too. Honey and cheese is divine. It was all delicious...I felt like the feasting Chancellor of the Skeksis making little yummy "mm mm mmmm!" sounds as I tasted and nibbled everything! We went on to the Irish Heather for some fine 15 year old Scotch whiskey. I let Magnus pick as he's the connoisseur of Scotch and Bourbon and I must say I loved it-had a fruity oaky aftertaste without the "yoikes and wiggly jaws" I get from some lesser scotches I've tried. J had the same as Byrun ("Peat Monster")-smelled very peaty.

And then...oh then. It was the Gomez concert. I've seen them live before and the Commodore ballroom is indeed a fantastic place to see a concert. It is like an old jazz hall from the 30's with a dance floor (used to be a horse hair floor) and areas with tables and chairs. Good view from all sides and decent sound for a big hall. The opening guy, who is apparently big in the UK, was rather a bit of crap I thought (a little too country for me), so we sat on a sofa and yakked. Well, OK mostly I twitched like a monkey waiting for the concert to start. Finally Gomez came on and I was oh so very happy - they sang a lot of my favorites and some of the improvised live versions of songs were fantastic. If you ever get a chance to see them live do - they are a great live band. Magnus who hadn't heard them before seemed to enjoy them. And after...we wandered about to find a cab as the busses were done and made our way home to leftover takeaway, some trappist ale and more babbling.

On saturday we went with Magnus to visit another old friend Pete. Pete and his lovely wife of 2 years had twins about 1 year ago and I haven't had the chance to see them until now. I'd made them Star Trek pajamas for their birthday (old series style). Thomas and Elizabeth will be the coolest kids around in them I tells ya..they're already adorable. It was good to visit with them for the afternoon. We stepped out for a bit of shopping -J tracked down some hard to find Orb and William Orbit CDs and I got a freaking fantastic pair of boots from the Fluevog store. I've been saving for many moons for them and although the ones I really wanted were out of stock, the burgundy "operettas" I got are absolutely freaking awesome if'n I do say so myself and have upped my style factor to level 9.2. Later we went back, picked up Pete and went out for supper and more yakking. So much to catch up on -so good to see my old friends...it's been too long. And J has finally had a chance to get to know them and I'm glad to say he thinks they're as spiffy as I do.

The next day we said bye to Magnus (sniff) and hung out with J's cousin Cloe for the day. We spent ages looking for parking and then stopped for lunch at the nearby Irish Heather again(had a half and half...been so long since my 2 favorite beers blended together...mmmm Guinness and Harp. Reading this over there was a lot of tasty beer and food on this holiday. Woot.). Then we wandered to one of my favorite places on this earth - Dr. Sun Yat Sen's gardens on the edge of Chinatown to discover - hey! Chinese New Year! Turns out it was the ceremonial beginning of the year of the Pig-a very auspicious year to stumble upon unawares. The garden was open and full of happy people. There were parades, dragon puppets, tai chi and sword dancing demonstrations and some incredible food at what I think is the one of the best chinese bakeries in Vancouver (mmm...egg tarts and coconut buns). There were fireworks going off all over all day and we got to be happy shiny people enjoying the sights...and all the tiny pigs everywhere. Gir would've loved it.
Couldn't resist a quick stop at the comic store on Granville St. to pick up a Serenity comic for J and a few hard to find Tank Girl compilation comics for me before we headed back to Cloe's place and met her man Ben-good guy. J and I went out that evening down to Granville Island to see the annual improv festival's final competition. The team from Winnipeg won - they deserved it -spontaneous and really hilarious. Realising we hadn't eaten supper we stopped off for nachos after a walk by the ocean (hee hee...ocean - just sitting there like it was no big deal) on the way back to Cloe and Ben's place... then it was on the plane in the wee hours of the morning and back home here in toontown by mid afternoon.

Exhausting and wonderful this holiday was. Go again we must (talk like Yoda I can...). Much visiting and yummy food and good friends and...I miss Magnus and Pete and Cloe already.
Sniff.
J was so very sweet with this whole trip - he let me plan most of it so we could just visit and see Magnus and Pete as much as possible. He had a fab time too. It was so good to get away...my camera batteries kept dying so I only have a few photos...I'll put them up in Flicker when I get the time.

I'd chosen to ignore the growing cold in my head until we got home and so I've been laid out since then...BUT after a few days back at home I'm feeling more human again...if still slightly zeppliney. And sooooo I must float off and get some work done. Bye all.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Plague holiday

I'm back...we had a fantastic time.
I miss Magnus and Pete already...and the green grass.
So very much to say and be thankful for but I came down with the plague of all colds in Vancouver and it has wiped me out... I'm going to go die quietly for a while and catch up on sleep. When I'm a little more coherent I'll be back with lots to say...promise.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Song stuck in my head

And as I walked along the supposed golden path,
I was trembling with fear, over the lions and wizards yet to come.
I'd seen in the distance silver mounains rising high in the clouds,
And a voice from above did whisper some shining answer from the moon...

Buhbye

Well...we're off to Vancouver this afternoon.
Even if it rains the whole time (which it looks like it will) it'll be great...temperatures ABOVE zero and lots of places to go.
I had a secret hopew that maybe some great psytrance or breaks DJ might be playing one night...but no such luck. Still - Many options for stuff...there's even an improv night that sounds cool...we're forgoing our usual anal planning and just seeing what happens. Our only plan is to see Gomez and visiting with old friends .
Be back Monday sometime.
Bye!

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I heart Tomb Raider

I'd just like to take a moment to say I am completely addicted to Tomb Raider Legend on PS2. My friend Heather and I have been playing it...now she is gone to the mine labs for her week of shifts add I'm going through withdrawal. A whole week until I can play it again...

A peom for J on a luvy day

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
as that of the rain-soaked purple of the white birch in spring?
Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
than on a warm fall night under a Mackerel sky, the smell of grapes on the wind?

Well I have known all these things and the joys that they can bring
And I'll share them all for a cup of coffee and to wear your ring

Have you ever had the pleasure of watching
a quiet winter's snow slowly gathering like simple moments adding up?
Have you ever satisfied a gut feeling
to follow a dry dirt road that's beckoning you to the heart of a shimmering summer's day?

Well I have known all these things and the joys that they can bring
And I'll share them all for a cup of coffee and to wear your ring

And I don't know how I survived those days before I held your hand
Well I never thought that I would be the one
to admit that the moon and the sun shine so much more brighter
when seen through two pairs of eyes than when seen through just one

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
as a face in a crowd of people that lights up just for you?
Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
as when you wake by the side of that boy or girl who has pledged their love to you?

Well I have known all these things and the joys that they can bring
And now every morning there's a cup of coffee and I wear your ring
__________________________________________________________________________________
I've honestly never heard this song -I just stumbled across the lyrics one day long ago and the last three paragraphs are as close to what I would write about how I feel for J as I have ever found. It's the Anniversary Song...not sure who it's by. I put all the lyrics in...Why? Well, normally I shun Valentines Day on principle, but I'm feeling rather mushy this morning and had to post a little bit of love.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Tumbling down the rabbit hole

This morning I saw a pure black bunny in the alley on my way to the bus. He looked so very cold and was rather friendly. He didn't sprint off like they usually do when I approach...he just watched me go by and then hopped after me for a bit. I can't help but think the little guy isn't too bright...aren't they supposed to blend in?
Meh, because I'm tired and really have nothing useful to say to say, I declare that it's time for a meme.(I know I know...I'm tired - humour me).

Current clothes:
Jeans, orange shirt, purple bunny hug, blue snow boots, new titanium specs (so cool).

Current mood:
Tired. I stayed up too late watching Doctor Who (we just got the second series on DVD). I ate a bunch of popcorn so it feels like there's a gerbil making a nest in my stomach this morning. Blech.

Current music:
Thievery Corporation , the DJ Kicks album.


Current annoyance:
Where all my free time seems to be going. I am insanely busy...but not exactly sure doing what though. I seem to be accomplishing very little while being quite busy. I'm having a lot of fun though..so I guess that's the whole point.

Current thing: Getting plans together for our weekend mini-holiday to Vancouver. I can't wait to get away...see old friends, and a Gomez concert too. Neat.

Current desktop picture:
A nice kaleidoscope picture I found on the interweb

Current song in head: the Shouty Song by Lemon Jelly

Current book: Just finished Talisman by Stephen King...I'm currently in the choose-your-next-book stage. Not sure what it'll be yet...just not another Steven King book...it's not the best I've ever read. I actually had J tell me how it ended, as I couldn't really be bothered to finish it.

Current DVD in player: Doctor Who series 2, second last disc. The CBC has been really sporadic about showing the episodes here so it's nice to catch up on them...and they're so clear and surroundy soundy.

Current refreshment: Coffee and water. I've been trying to drink a cup of water for every cup of coffee I drink this month. So far so good...I don't know if I'm healthier but I sure have been drinking a LOT of water. You're supposed to get used to it, but I don't know...all I seem to be doing is taking more pee breaks.

Current worry: Can we get our stuff together for the trip to Vancouver?? And will it be rainy the whole time?

Current thought: Will I ever wake up?

TTYL

Monday, February 12, 2007

Whoosh!

I'd just like to know where the past few days went.
Seriously I feel like I blinked and it's days later...how'd I get so busy??
Slow down world-slow down!
I sure am glad I"m going away this weekend...but I haven't even had time to think or plan anything...I'm back...I think.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Googley eyes and other drama

So it's -43 with the windchill...not complaining. I'm just saying.

I know. I know. It's cold. Get over it.

Currently I have a bit of a distraction.
My new glasses just came (yay) and they are ever so cool and there are no scratches on the lenses anymore! Everything is clear...and I can look at the monitor without moving my head around to find a view with no scratches...yay. The frames are rather nice too if I do say so myself. The only odd thing is there's astigmatism correction on my new lenses and I'm not quite used to yet...makes it seem like I've had a bit to drink. Makes detailed lab work a bit more of a challenge what with the drpth perception beinga bit off...and stairs...well, lets just say that if you hear a loud thud and tumble, it's me rolling down the stairs...

I had a nice evening last night. Jay took me out to a play at the local theatre troupe. He kept saying there would be a surprise...weird me I was thinking...ooh aliens!. IT was a hockey play...seemed an odd choice for us at first (no aliens...damn), but then I realised that someone I knew in high school, Tim, was the lead. He was always incredibly talented in music and was a phenomenal actor and I knew he wanted to go somewhere with it...I'm glad to know he's doing well. I'd heard he was starting to do a lot of live theatre here...it was cool to see him. Oddly, he recognised J first (He and J had done some stuff together) but it was neat to see good things happen to someone who you know deserves it. It was a great play. I"m always a bit nervous about live theatre (often local stuff here is not that good) but the Persephone always puts on a great show.

ANyhoo...happy weekend all. I must be off to the lab.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Reasons why winter needs to go away

Woke up cold this morning, and so to vent and in honour of the horrid weather we are having and will continue to have here, I present the following list of why I wish the plague upon our current winter weather:

-My ears hurt from the cold when covered with a toque, hood and scarf.
-Wind should not make you shake your fist and curse the sky
-My legs lose all feeling by the time I walk to the bus and wait for it in the morning
-Because I am all bundled up my glasses completely fog up and I can't see when I'm outside.
-EVen though there's loads of snow, I can't toboggan because it's too cold.
-My eyeballs and nostrils freeze up when I'm outside right now
-Public places like malls and galleries are PACKED with people right now just trying to get out for a bit...too many people. GAH!
-Being cooped up inside makes me cranky. And yet it's so cold that our house is cold inside. Turning up the heat isn't really practical, as we have lots of old windows and the house just leaks the ehat away. There are now strategically placed blankets in every room of the house.
-I can't go barefoot
-I'm cold all the time...

This rant was brought to you by the numbers -32 and the letter C

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Whither to waddle

J and I were looking through old photos over the weekend to pass the time...the wedding and some holidays. We were looking at the reams of photos from our trip to England 5 years ago and both were struck at how much we've changed in such a short time. Not just hair styles (I now have about a foot less hair), but everything.
Although I've always been self conscious about it, I hadn't taken a step back and looked at myself in a while. The thing is, J and I both used to weigh a lot more than we do now. And up until then I didn't realise how many things that affected in how I looked at myself...and how I still do.
Sometimes, I still think of myself as the larger girl. The one who has "the pretty face", the "quirky sense of humor" and the "kind heart". These were all nice things to me, but they always translated and reinforced in my mind into the fact that people who said these things were tactfully avoiding looking at me for who I was, or at least who I saw myself as - someone who was almost 40 pounds overweight. I would hide in it...when mopey I would revel in it. Looking back, it was a convenient excuse for me. People didn't like me or things went badly for me? Well they just aren't seeing me for who I am. I'm too shy at a gathering? Well they just won't like me because I'm different. It was a crutch, excuse and a source of pain, all at the same time. It wasn't until about 6 months ago that i caught a reflection ofmyself in a window and thought - "my god...I look absolutely normal".
The thing is, people DID treat me differently when I was overweight. I don't get the distainful once over look from some of the more shallow people as I approach. And I'm sad to say that now that I'm healthy and average size people are friendlier, and more inclusive when they first meet me. They are more apt to listen to what I say, and my presentations and opinions at work seem to have more leverage. Whether or not this is because I have more confidence and strength I don't know. I just know there is a difference..and although it feels good to me now...there is a tiny part of me that is bitter about it, because I know there are others still dealing with it. My husband is one of the few people in my life who has loved me utterly and completely for who I am and what I am to him, regardless of how I looked or felt. I love him with all my heart and I am so greatful to have never had any of that from him.

And want to know the woerdest thing of all- I still felt a twinge of hurt when J and I looked at our photos and made a few comments along the lines of "Wow. We were big weren't we? Why didn't someone say something?". Even casually talking about it made all those insecure feelings come back for a minute and I must say that I did NOT enjoy them or welcome them back. And I knew that if someone had said something to me back then, I would have been devastated. I got over it all after a while, but it really gave me a bit of a reality check. If anything, it made me push just a little bit harder in this morning's workout.

Yet after having said all this I must say that I do smile at myself now. I take compliments as they are given and I hope that given the chance, I will treat other people with care and respect no matter how they look. Because I know how that feels, and I also know how it feels to like yourself. It took liking myself to care enough about myself to change. J and I are proof it is very healing to know you are a better healthier person. We can do so many things now that we wouldn't have been able to before. THAT is our reward.
And yes, I wish that kind happiness for all of you out there positive change for all of you out there in the coming year. It's OK to like yourself, because, as Stan Smiley would say "Because I'm good enough, and smart enough...and gosh darn it - people like me".

Monday, February 05, 2007

Flying Cat Alert

dry cold weather + fuzzy slippers + carpet + me + approaching cat = static + shock + cat hopping in mid air + tears of laughter

I haven't laughed that hard in weeks...poor Geek. He still isn't sure what happened.

Sunday Scribbles a day late - goodbyes

A little late and a tad incoherent, but here it is...

I've never been one to say goodbye.
I'll always say "see you later then" or "talk to you soon". There is a finality to goodbye that I simply cannot use the word casually. Even for those to whom I may not see for years, I somehow waddle around the phrase, hoping that by simply not saying the word, I will be able to irrefutably create the time when we will meet again.

Despite my best efforts, this has come back to bite me twice in my life.

The first was for a friend and roommate in high school. I went to a high school where we all boarded in a dorm. My first roommate had very bad asthma - the kind where you needed a machine to breathe sometimes. She opted to move in with a close friend of hers after a few weeks at school, as they were supposed to be roommates and something got botched up. We were still friends after - I remember she was very kindhearted and full of energy. In the spring after she'd gone home one weekend she hadn't returned...and she never did. She'd had an asthma attack while out doing something with friends and family and never recovered. Although she wasn't someone I felt deepy close to I do to this day wish I could have said goodbye. "See you when you get back" fell short somehow.

Another best friend of mine throughout high school and the start of college moved to England with her boyfriend after travelling all over the world. Even after she started travels, we kept in touch and our friendship was still very close. After she moved to London, it was more expensive to call and I didn't have her address. I lost touch from her and then *I* moved and got married...when I tried to find her to invite her to the wedding she was nowhere to be found and her family in Vancouver wasn't there either. The funny thing is I still look for her in crowds, hoping she might just wander up behind me and scare the crap out of me and it'd be like we'd never stopped talking. I often wonder what is going on and hope she is alright. I wish hadn't said goodbye to her when last we talked - I feel as though I've jinxed things somehow. I know when I'm in Vancouver in a few weeks I'll still check in at her old address...just in case.

I'm still cautious about it- I've said goodbye to loved ones who are going far away, ones who are dying. It's just too much meaning wrapped up in such a tiny little word...it's like love. I can't say it unless I mean it.

Creatively lazy

Creating a thing a day when you're being a winter lazy lump is a challenge. I spent many hours this weekend snuggled under the duvet reading, drinking coffee, watching some Young Ones episodes and making yummy foods when I managed to venture out from under the blankets.

Saturday I made the yummiest pumpkin muffins (I'm eating one right now).I still think they are my favorite muffin of all time.
Sunday I made fresh banana and strawberry smoothies and picked up some materials for some-things-I'll-make-another-day-this-month.

I'm trying to not make all my things-that-I-make-everyday-this-month foody things, but I like food and honestly it's what I do when I'm feeling creative. I need to finish my creative room to get on with other things less foody and more crafty.

Speaking of that...off to work.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Boomshanka

Darling Fascist Bulleyboy,

Give me some more money you bastard.

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman,

Neil

Create-a-thing-a-day-month

Thanks to the lovely Miss Meep, I learned about a nifty project on a weblog where people are challenged to do something for a week and blog on it. For the month of Feb. they are trying to make/create something every day.
I think it's a great idea.
I'm cheating and counting the cupcakes I made yesterday (chocolate almond with minty icing) as my first thing...and so I'm off. A whole months of doing/creating/changing things.
Neat.
I'm all up ins.

Silly Americans, bombs are for kids

I've been a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force for a while...most of the Adult Swim cartoons for that matter. So when I heard a while ago they were making an Aqua Teen movie I was happy.

I was also amused at how wierd the US has gotten when a publicity thing for the Aqua Teen show and movie went very wrong yesterday in Boston. A company had made a few dozen little electrical metal gadgets with blinky LEDs and motion sensors in the shape of a few characters of the show and put them all over the city wed night. Did it work? Well, the city freaked out and shut down major arteries and had police and fire departments out removing the "fake bombs" with their bomb squads. The people who did it were arrested, and the city wants them to pay damages for al the trouble caused. And the oddest thing about it was when the 2 guys were released on bail they were met by press on their way out. As they were advised to not talk about things by their lawyer they responded to all press queries with comments and questions about 70s hair cuts and styles. It was quite amusing. The press kept asking them questions after their lawyer said they had been advised not to talk and they kept giving joke answers. The lawyer finally said "if you feel your time is being wasted you CAN go you know" and they did leave, but the reporters kept asking questions about terrorism and if the men were happy at all the trouble they caused and made them come off as jerks. Maybe they did take it a little too lightly, but what would you do in a situation like this? It's just absurd.
I mean how can you hold them responsible for the city freaking out over this?
The signs were even lighting up with the shapes of one of the characters on the show (giving the finger). There's a photo of the display in the news articles I've linked to. Even if I'd never seen the Spacecataz character after looking at it I wouldn't think - "hey a bomb!".
Hopefully there won't be a stupid campaign against the movie from all this. I mean, it's just a cartoon...

This quote in particular bothers me:
"Russ Knocke, a spokesman for the Homeland Security Department, condemned the hoax.
'Hoaxes are a tremendous burden on local law enforcement and counter-terrorism resources and there's absolutely no place for them in a post-9/11 world,' he said."

So now the TV show is responsible for the fact that the public is so freaked out by terror alerts and all the other crap going on in the US that they thought it was a hoax? It's right up there with freedom fries for sheer bizzarity.
It's all a bit too wierd for me...if you ask me, this shouldn't have happened in the first place.

AMBER ALERT UPDATE: want to see them put them up?
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2a64964ab9
(sorry no link on mac...have to just copy and paste the old fashioned way).

Thursday, February 01, 2007

An open letter to Winter

Hi there - how are you? I noticed you’ve been wearing a lot of white lately? NO...no I like it on you - it suits you.
Hmmm. Um…I don’t know how to start this so I’ll just dive in. I wanted to talk to you today, because I’ve had a lot on my mind about you and I and need to tell you about it.
I know we’ve been together for a few months now and I have to say that it’s been a lot of fun. I’ve gotten to do a lot of new things and had a lot of fun with you.
But the thing is, I’ve been feeling lately that we don’t click anymore – that my attention is drifting. It’s not you – it’s me. I feel restricted and to be honest with you, I need more. More warmth...more freedom to be out as myself and explore a lot of things I like to do that I’ve been missing out on lately. I just feel confined and trapped and I just have to move on.
Sorry if this hurts you…it’s just how I feel.
The thing is, I’ve met someone. They aren’t better than you – just different. Remember those few days last week when it was really warm out and I was out walking a lot by myself ? Well, that’s when I met an old friend and we just sort of hit it off. I really felt that after you’ve been so cold to me lately it was nice to find someone who treats me more warmly and pays attention to my needs. Spring really allows me to be myself you know? Less wrappings and complications and a lot of new possibilities that it feels like I haven’t been able to take part in for months.

I don’t know how else to say this, but Winter hon, I don’t want to be together anymore.
I need to move on. I need to be with Spring. It’s for the best.

Luv, Geo